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The struggle of black girls and their sexuality: A thread
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We are sexualized and objectified at a far younger age than other girls. We are taught to think for grown men. Young girls are instructed how to conduct themselves in the presence of adult males so as not to appear enticing or "fast". Ex. A young 12 yr old girl wld be scolded..
for sitting on a grown man's lap as opposed to the man being scolded for having her on his lap. And God help you if you develop a body young. You now take on the responsibility of keeping yourself hidden and covered less you be shamed. And if you are so lucky as to make it to the
Age of 15 without being touched by someone you were taught to trust (the prevalence of that in the black community is a topic for another day) you now have to deal with a different type of predator. You are 15/16 yrs old and have been told you are so mature for your age by men
Who are 19-24. They tell you you're not a little girl. They give you the attention you have been taught to seek. And now you have lost your virginity to a predator that wants nothing good for you. So from the age of 15-20 you are used and taken advantage by men ranging all the
way up to their 40. And we've been conditioned to think this means we are smart and mature. Then as we get older the men drop us cuz they never wanted a woman to begin with. They wanted a little girl. Now we are physically adults (just physically cuz we were robbed of our youth)
We are legally adults and now we're looking for men our own age and we have been conditioned to deal with men through sex and trained to present our bodies as offerings and men in their 20s just want to get laid so they accept and we are left empty and we seek to fill that hole
with anyone who will have us. NOW we are entering our later 20s and realizing that something is not right here. We don't like how we feel we don't like who we are and we want to fix it. So we put in all of this work to heal ourselves. We through extraordinary lengths to become
women that we can love and respect. And this is the powerful crossroad. Option 1) We become a woman that is viewed as too damn strong and independent cuz we now operate from a place of "fuck what men think they don't help me anyway" then we get called bitter and stank and told
That we will die alone and are not worthy of love because no man wants to deal with that attitude. OR Option 2) We heal and decide what we want our healthy relationship to look like. When then get confronted with those judging us in our past, talking about body count, and being
labeled as damaged goods. We are told that no man wants a woman that's been out there. So now our only option is to be happy with who we've become and content enough in ourselves that we can be happy alone until the right 1 comes and never settle just for company.
This walk here is not light and there is trauma waiting on every corner. So as women we need to help each other and men need to learn to understand us more. Healing can be a team sport with the right team.
Oh. And for the record. You grown ass predator lesbians ain't shit either. You know that girl don't like girls. She just been hurt by men and never been loved right and just wants to feel safe and you exploited her for some pussy. You ain't no better than every man that used her.
Thank you all for coming to my TED talk
