Whenever you travel by air in India, you’ll come across these unique travellers in your flight :
@IndiGo6E @flyspicejet @airindiain @goairlinesindia @airvistara
1. The Celebrity - will board just before the flight is about to take off. Accompanied by airline’s staff. Will throw

a perfunctory hello around and take the seat right in front
and will never take off sunglasses during entire flight. Will call the cabin crew to ask for ‘Papaya milk from Holy mountain in New Zealand milked by blind shepherds’; and then failing to get it will settle down with -

- “Oh, nothing then.” Will get down first. Everyone in the
Flight will get a chance to say “ X was in my flight today”, as a mark of self achievement.

2. The Corporate Consultant - This guys needs to show everyone how he’s the busiest, most frequently traveling technocrat in

this land of poor and uncouth. The charade is full ! That suit, however crumpled or sweat marks on collar, the headphones, the laptop bag, that cup of scalding hot coffee and that phone in front that is way more important than seeing where you’re going. They’ll never stop

talking on phone and if you notice, it’ll always be about “ let me check my calendar ...I’m flying again on this and that ..I spoke to Principal Secy or Minister ..” by far the most irritating characters on flight.

3. The couple or mom with a toddler - The toddler that never

stops crying. Personally, I’ve never had any problem with crying. They are toddlers, what else will they do. But it’s the reactions from fellow travellers and rolling of eyes that gets me. I mean what did your kids do when they were few months old, sing ‘O Fortuna’? Always feel

bad for the mom who’s trying to shush the kid sheepishly like she’s done a mistake by bringing the kid there. People need to be more accommodating and those moms need to learn some North Indian expletives.

4. The Invisibility cloak - My fav people. They’ll board, sit down on

whatever seat is allotted, no ring the bell for cabin crew, no talking, just read or sleep and get down calmly and out of airport !

5. The Young and Noisy - mostly a group of youngsters who will ensure that entire flight knows their secrets coz they just won’t keep quiet. At

some point they’ll open their laptop or iPad or phone and start playing something and watch it together. They are the lot that giggles the most when a pretty looking cabin crew passes by or talks to them. They enjoy the flight! Nice people :)

6. Daddy bought the airline - Just

because they bought a ticket, these people will do everything short of flying the plane, and not for the lack of will to do so. They’ll call the cabin crew a million times, get up every 15 min to just stand or stroll or take a piss, make the whole row get up twice if they are in

Window seat and even represent their displeasure to staff of the flight is running 34 seconds late. And in-spite of their snootiness and snobbery, you’ll find them in coach/economy. Surprises me always.

7. The Talkers - I can sometimes go days without even uttering a word. My

phone is meant for texting. I hardly take calls. So the biggest fear is sitting next to someone who shows his/her interest in my life. And they’ll attack you when you’re least expecting, leaving no chance to feign sleep. It’s pure torture!

8. The First time travellers - Mostly

elderly folk from small towns. I adore them how they are so conscious and respectful of everything and everyone. The most decent travellers. It’s really cute how they’ll ask small questions about stuff and battle with seat belt etc. In a way, it’s always rejoices me to see that

air travel has been made accessible to everyone. Three cheers to aviation industry!

Finally, thanks to the pilots and staff (ground and air) of all airlines to manage us all and ensure our safe and comfortable journeys. Happy landings to all

And I should add the chaos the cultured and educated lot create when the plane lands. The poor lady keeps saying - please keep sitting. But there are always these oversmart ones who will just pop up like pop corns, open the overhead storage and pull their bag out. Somehow

They believe that they will get out even before the plane stops, forgetting the huge population sitting in front of them that WILL get down before them. And people switching on mobiles the moment plane lands like Modi ji called them 15 times. And all you get one lousy Whataspp

notification saying forward this joke These Usain Bolts will keep in aisles and crooked in their seats for 15 min, get down like everyone , but the deep desire inside them to create a traffic jam is beyond me.