An Introduction to the Main Theses and Themes to Be Explored by This Account

(A Thread )

If you haven't read my first thread, the tl;dr is -- I'm a Christian man who grew up with a lot of sexual attraction to other men, remained "Side B" cause I didn't think it was good to involve myself erotically with other men, https://twitter.com/majorthirds/status/1353005800562810880

and became involved, as an adult, with a semi-charismatic church full of charitable people who taught me how to open the black box of my desires with the tender help of the spirit of Jesus and withOUT the help of judgment, fear, self-hatred, and spiritual pressure.

Nowadays I find myself more attracted to women and less attracted to men than before.

The remaining attraction to men is far less compelling than it used to be, and seems about ready to be done away with entirely (or, sorted out more entirely, the wheat and the chaff of it), along with the deep wounds, unmet needs, and copes that gave rise to it.

What a relief! What an opportunity I have in front of me!

I've created this account with a few different people in mind:

First, the Christian who is experiencing homosexual attraction and would rather not, and would possibly rather experience heterosexual attraction.

Second, any other Christian who is dealing with inconvenient desires, psychological states, or behavioral patterns that they would like some freedom from. Much of what we discuss here will be broadly applicable.

Third, anyone who wants a deeper understanding of sexuality and all the things it relates to. No one can understand homosexuality without understanding heterosexuality, homoSOCIALity, and all the ways that they, too, have been repressed, denied, and disordered.

Fourth -- anyone who may be put in a position of ministering to gays. A lot of the common answers in the church are decent enough as far as they go, but do not go NEARLY as far as they could, and that's something I'd like to see change,

both for the sake of the gays, and for the sake of the people who are so embarrassed at their inability to make very many of them feel happy and welcome, or indeed to give them an explanation for what's happening to them.

Fifth -- idk, I'm sure other people may take benefit from this account. If you're interested, read on!

I will start by exploring these subjects:

1.

Judgment, Repression, Pressure, Fear, and Shame --

If we're going to open the "black boxes of our desires," we need to learn how to do so charitably. The human soul opens up in the love and freedom of God and nothing else. This is a deep practice that requires boldness and time spent in the presence of Christ.

2.

The Black Box, or, How a Real Network of Persistent and Unmanageable Desires, Compulsions, and Identities May Result from Hidden False Beliefs, Psychological Wounds, Copes, Repressions, and the Like --

3.

Some Antecedents of Homosexual Desire in American Culture --

There is an ongoing war between the sexes, and wars within the sexes. Each of us has to navigate these somehow.

Gender remains intertwined with physical violence, psychological domination, dehumanizing hierarchies, and shame.

Expressions of heterosexual desire are regularly warped by all the same things.

Everywhere you look there's shame and hatred about bodies, desires, personalities, ethnicities, and class.

Almost nobody, whether they accept a traditional religious sexual ethic or one that provides more license, is very comfortable about sex. The shadow of morality and embarrassment hangs over both sides of the discourse.

Demonic symbolism runs amok -- people wishing to maximize breast size or bicep size or money or popularity as proxies for actual love, tenderness, personal vivacity, and sexual experience.

Most people's "platonic" experiences with their own and the opposite gender have significant deficiencies and complications.

And so on and so on.

In a society this screwy, SSA isn't an isolated occurrence but one part or expression of the continual disorder that is afflicting nearly everyone.

When I do my big thread on this topic, the goal will be to put SSA in context, to show parallels to it within "straight" culture, to show how various individuals (straight and gay) have been driven on deep psychological levels into states of compulsion,

and to show how the actions to which those compulsions point, whether they be relatively benign (having gay sex) or actively malicious (being a sexual predator or harasser) perpetuate the entire net or vortex of sexual compulsions,

spreading it from person to person, generation to generation.

4.

Some Things I've Learned By Opening My Own Black Box

If Theme #3 was the sociological perspective, Theme #4 is a personal one. This will probably be more scattered, a series of threads and one-offs I do from time to time. This theme may prove the least immediately relevant to every individual's story but possibly the most useful.

5.

Thoughts on Walking with Jesus --

I've made some claims about charismatic-adjacent behaviors that I think are very helpful and possibly necessary to get very far in any of these matters. I'd like to explore, explain, and justify those in detail at some point.

6.

Thoughts on (small-p) Politics --

Politics both in the sense of the big ole laws and government stuff as well as in the sense of -- what do I say in my church? What do I teach my children? What do I say to my gay brother? What expectations do I place on different people? What expectations do I place on myself?

This is a trickier bit and I'm not always sure what I'm doing, but I do have some thoughts.

Anyways, that's the outline of what I'm going to talk about. Probably add some more later.