gaslighting is not just telling a lie. it’s intentionally altering the details regarding an incident or pattern of abuse in order to warp the victim’s sense of reality. stop misusing it. watering down trauma terminology actively harms survivors.

to be even more specific, it’s a frequent component of the cycle of interpersonal abuse, which you can read more about here: https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1353878125155934213

cw: cult mention

you should know the term DARVO. it’s a manipulation tactic used by abusers and even cults, and it’s a common form of gaslighting.

In short, if your abuser has ever told you “no, you’re abusing me,” and it fucks with your sense of reality, get away from that person by any means necessary. they are using DARVO to manipulate and control you. you know reality, i promise, and you deserve so much better.

some more common phrases used in the process of gaslighting:
• “are you sure that happened?”
• “you’re so dramatic/sensitive”
• “you’re make things up”
• “why are you making me out to be the bad guy”
• “you can’t handle anything i say”
• “you hear what you want to hear”

signs you’re being gaslight:
• struggling to remember recent convos, even very painful ones
• increased anxiety
• dissociating/numbness
• questioning if the abuse is real 24/7
• intense guilt
• being unable to trust yourself to remember basic info, like other people’s names

Gaslighting doesn’t just happen on an interpersonal level. There are also forms of institutional gaslighting. This is where people in positions of power are oppressive, then deny it. It’s how privileged people avoid accountability, & systems of bigotry exist without consequence.

Racial Gaslighting is a vicious form of institutional gaslighting which aims to sustain white supremacy through avoiding accountability and punishing BIPOC for acknowledging racism.

Here is some more information on this written by @ogorchukwuu, who you should absolutely follow.

Medical Gaslighting is another form of institutional gaslighting frequently experienced by disabled people seeking treatment. Doctors may ignore your symptoms, blame you for a treatment not working, and more.

Here’s a more in-depth article on the issue. https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/doctors-gaslighting-patients

At the end of the day, gaslighting is a form of abuse, which can cause significant trauma. My thread further up on trauma bonds has a ton of resources to identify, escape, & heal from abuse. I also have this thread of affirmations, which has even more resources at the very end. https://twitter.com/radiantbutch/status/1356384883971620865

& finally, if you’d like to support my educational work, i have a medical fundraiser to get a multipurpose service dog. it’ll help me with the debilitating long-term effects of my trauma, as well as my chronic pain. please RT and donate if u can https://www.gofundme.com/f/295xbhbe1c?sharetype=teams&member=8141518&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer&utm_campaign=p_na+share-sheet&rcid=3835c91b627d47609f8ae7fc1a8d2efa

and be sure to support Jacquelyn, who wrote the infographic on Racial Gaslighting and makes a ton of incredible wellness content for BIPOC. https://linktr.ee/Ogorchukwuu