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Okay I need to talk about this scene and how it’s Togashi’s take on a classic trope used in shoujo/romance. I also want to discuss what this moment means for Killua’s emotional arc. Long analysis below 
First let’s take a look at what is happening in this scene. Gon and Killua are finally about to face the imminent threat, the rising action is reaching its peak. Before diving into it, we get this exchange.
After a while of sensing something is wrong with Gon, Killua feels a growing distance between them, which makes him question what Gon truly meant when he said “let’s go.” If he asks, he "won't be able to go back." There's a heavy emotional weight behind this.
Why is this scene important? What does this mean to Killua? Why can’t he ask the question? What is he afraid of? In order to understand, let’s talk about what tropes Togashi is using in this scene.
If you're familiar with shoujo, this scene may have stuck out to you as a parallel of the "Stunted Confession" or "Can't Spit it Out" trope. We know Togashi likes to mix genres and subvert tropes in his work. There are multiple interviews where he talks about his+
interest in shoujo, as well as wanting to incorporate shoujo themes into his work in order to appease an ever-changing modern audience. For reference, I will include links to some of these interviews at the end of this thread.
Let's examine this trope further:
Let's examine this trope further:
Simple definition: “Cant Spit it Out” trope is when there is a piece of vital information that would clear up a character's problems, usually a misunderstanding of romance. If the character would just “spit it out already”, it would save entire episodes' worth of trouble & tears.
This trope is VERY common in love stories & shoujo. Character A has deeper feelings for character B, but just can’t seem to “spit it out”. Conflict occurs due to the characters’ inability to communicate their true feelings. It’s a tactic used to build tension. Sound familiar?
This trope is not usually used in shonen, much less between two characters of the same gender. But Togashi decides to use it here, and in circumstances that are quite dark. It definitely creates emotional tension, but what does this reveal about Killua's true feelings & his arc?
What is Killua trying to stop? What would happen if he asked this question? What will he not be able to "go back" to?
Now that we understand the tropes at play, I think we can conclude that what's happening here is a stunted confession of Killua's true feelings.
Now that we understand the tropes at play, I think we can conclude that what's happening here is a stunted confession of Killua's true feelings.
This is a character who is unable to confess how they feel due to fear of losing the person they love. The fear of rejection, of not being able to "go back" to the way things were.
If Killua asks, he'll have to face his true feelings. He won't be able to stop anymore.
If Killua asks, he'll have to face his true feelings. He won't be able to stop anymore.
Throughout the story Killua has been putting Gon on a pedestal. He is "dazzled" by his light. He's constantly self-sacrificing in order to protect Gon and prove he is worthy of being with him/worthy of the friendship Gon gave him.
Now, Killua is feeling left behind. Gon is spiraling and for the first time Killua doesn't know how to help. He's looking for that emotional validation from Gon, that he's still worthy of being with him, but he has to stop himself from asking due to crippling self-doubt.
Killua needs to know that Gon meant “let’s go” as in the two of them, together, as friends. He is afraid that Gon meant “let’s go” addressing him as “just a teammate”.
Killua doesn’t want to be just a teammate. He needs his spot in Gon’s life to mean more than that. The word "friend" here holds the same weight as the word "lover" would in a true shoujo scenario. Being just a "teammate" would be like getting rejected after a confession.
The element of inexperience comes into play as well. Neither Killua or Gon have prior relationship experience. This is their first real friendship with another person their age, and it has been continuously elevated throughout the story to reach this crescendo.
“If Killua would just ask, he would have his answer” alludes to how the conflict could easily be solved if the boys just talked and were honest about their feelings. Togashi uses the elements of inexperience, fear, and the “cant spit it out” trope to build tension.
It's also a matter of life and death. If Gon had rejected him and rushed in alone, Killua would lose him. It’s obvious to the audience (and those with experience) that Killua should just ask, and they should just talk. But not to a kid in danger & on the verge of a breakdown.
Killua's constant need to prove he's worthy of Gon is amplified by these feelings of idolization and ardent attachment. Togashi choosing to use shoujo themes/tropes to represent this leads me to believe there is romantic subtext at play.
The fact that asking a simple question weighs SO heavily on Killua to the point where he thinks he is going to lose Gon if he asks, is reminiscent of those love stories where the characters just cannot admit their true feelings to each other.
Overall I think this is a really interesting and successful example of how mixing elements from different genres/tropes can create meaningful and complex character moments while also building considerable emotional tension.
If you made it to the end of the thread, thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to read my thoughts.
As promised, here are the interviews I mentioned:
https://demifiendrsa.tumblr.com/post/177539763847
https://kittylurks.tumblr.com/post/96381595716/yoshihiro-togashi-interview-after-the-conclusion
As promised, here are the interviews I mentioned:
https://demifiendrsa.tumblr.com/post/177539763847
https://kittylurks.tumblr.com/post/96381595716/yoshihiro-togashi-interview-after-the-conclusion
