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i& #39;ve mentioned this before but one of the hardest things about adhd is how it can WRECK your relationships because you don& #39;t have friendship degradation mechanics like everyone else
like my friendship degradation mechanics are just straight up broken, i can go YEARS without hearing from someone at all and still feeling exactly the same level of familiarity about them. but they don& #39;t because friendship degrades if you don& #39;t take care of it
it& #39;s just kinda like. sad bc no matter how hard i try to keep up with friendships i& #39;ll inevitably have a dry spell of a few months and by that point the other person has moved on, because, why wouldn& #39;t they? it& #39;s the one skill my adhd fucks on the hardest
anyways this is why i like being friends with other adhd/autistic/neurodivergent people bc we see each other and it& #39;s "AYYYY" every time alkgnsfd friendship degradation mechanic broke for both of us
oh wow, i& #39;m away for a few hours making beef stew and suddenly this thread is RELATABLE, welcome yall i& #39;m the DAYDREAMER adhd
i wish people understood like. people who do this don& #39;t deliberately ghost people, it& #39;s "i thought it had been 2 days but it& #39;s actually been 2 weeks and now this person will be really mad at me so i guess i can& #39;t say anything now" and then that KEEPS HAPPENING
it& #39;s just a nasty bundle of like. object permanence issues and being unable to perceive time, and one of the big issues is people assuming we& #39;re doing this on purpose or something when it& #39;s like "I AM TRYING SO HARD AND IT& #39;S LIKE SAND THRU MY FINGERS"
it does feel a lot like trying to pump out a lake armed with only a fork
OH and before i forget, "friendship degradation mechanics" isn& #39;t an official term (or if it is, it& #39;s coincidence) i totally just pulled it from like. describing how you have to maintain your heart levels with stardew valley npcs
i was gonna leave this in its own thread to avoid this getting too long but like, it relates so well that i might as well just append it https://twitter.com/Khoshtistic/status/1352662828495286275">https://twitter.com/Khoshtist...
not to be capitalizing off being viral but if you vibed with this thread go ahead and drop me a dime on kofi, if you& #39;d like? thank you! https://ko-fi.com/jargoggle ">https://ko-fi.com/jargoggle...
also i appreciate what some of yall are trying to do but this is VERY MUCH bc of my adhd and its affect on my sense of time (i don& #39;t have one) and my object permanence (again, don& #39;t have it.) i& #39;m very "out of sight out of mind" even with real people.
i appreciate people being like "this isn& #39;t adhd, this is normal" or "this isn& #39;t adhd, they& #39;re bad friends" but like. the underlying issue here is that the ball starts rolling because i fall out of contact for like half a decade and don& #39;t realize it. THAT& #39;S my adhd symptom.
it& #39;s not people with adhd& #39;s fault that this happens, but that is WHY it happens to me (any maybe others, if the qrts and responses are any indication.) so saying "no, this isn& #39;t actually adhd" isn& #39;t actually helpful and can be super invalidating! please don& #39;t do it <3 ty
SOME DISCLAIMERS SINCE THIS IS GETTING SUPER BIG:
1. i DON& #39;T think this is SPECIFIC or UNIVERSAL to adhd: it can just be caused by symptoms like time blindness and lack of object permanence
2. this was anecdotal venting that i wasn& #39;t expecting to go super viral
1. i DON& #39;T think this is SPECIFIC or UNIVERSAL to adhd: it can just be caused by symptoms like time blindness and lack of object permanence
2. this was anecdotal venting that i wasn& #39;t expecting to go super viral
addendum to number 1: when i say it can be caused by time blindness and lack of object permanence, these are two things that aren& #39;t completely unique to adhd by themselves. but in adhd they CAN cause relationship problems
hey yal!! im glad this resonated but i finally have to mute this <3 take care
