alright here we go
rationalizing the horny tier list from bottom to top
duck hunt - weird furries. probably way more on e621 (this will be a recurring theme with the non human characters)
young link - weird not furries. not much to say
ROB - probably intentionally weird/joke porn https://twitter.com/stupidringworm/status/1350310673339867138
or he's just in the background
simon - i guess he's not that popular? idk
g&w - joke porn, background, etc.
olimar - same as g&w, but with a higher chance of sincerity
dr mario - i mean he's just not-mario so it makes sense he has so little
shulk - not that popular? also the people who did play xenoblade probably didn't feel horny cause they just like him as a character
diddy - weird furries, also i don't think monkeys are particularly popular even among furries
richter - same as simon but he looks younger maybe
k rool - probably not that popular, i think he was only in like 3 dkc games and some spinoffs before ceasing to exist, probably way higher on e621 despite that
roy - not that popular i guess
squirtle - a pokemon, but a first evo pokemon so it's mainly weird furries
ken - kinda surprising to me. i guess people are just hornier for other street fighter characters
ICs - weird people if they're actually kids, idk. not that popular either way
sheik - only a character in 2 zelda games, 1 being a spinoff, so not that popular
ivysaur - weird furries, not sure why they have more than squirtle, maybe cause of the vines? idk
BowJr. - weird furries
falcon - probably only popular cause of smash, cause even if you know him from f-zero he's not fully visible most of the time
marth - not that popular, i guess
seph - people are just hornier for cloud and tifa, i guess. maybe not that popular?
terry - not that popular
DDD - not that popular, even by weird furry standards. probably way higher on e621
chrom - idk how popular his game is but he's canonically a dad so
jigglypuff - kinda popular, but a weird shape (unless she's anthro obv)
toon link - weird people, possibly drawn more cause of wind waker girls or something
ridley - definitely way higher on e6. no goddamn way thousands of furries don't wanna fuck a big space dragon
min-min - literally won a popularity contest, i guess paheal just doesn't get many uploads. but also arms itself isn't that popular
pac-man - obviously super popular character, but probably only in intentionally weird porn
wario - weird people. if you're horny for wario you're gross. yeah he's just a cartoon man but he's actually putrid.
steve - intentionally weird porn. for some reason minecraft is a popular subgenre
lucas - even if he's not the focus (it's probably kumatora) that's still weird
pichu - weird furries, but more popular ig
dk - probably way higher on e621, but i guess monkeys aren't that popular
ness - same as lucas but without the kumatora part, which just makes it worse
hero - paheal's tag doesn't specify dragon quest, so it's probably less than this
i sent this early just to save my progress
while we're let's talk about how paheal is kinda terrible at tags compared to some other sites
i saw non-DQ characters on that tag, and the amount is way lower on http://rule34.xxx  so i don't think that number is accurate
holy shit it's a good thing i sent that thread as is
my laptop just fucking crashed for no reason again
mega man - i didn't know what to think so i checked myself. guess he's just a standard "small boy" character to pair up with older women (or his own sister)
meta knight - probably just weird people. given that it's meta knight specifically i imagine it's more sincere
little mac - i mean he's just a fit dude so
trainer - i actually have no clue what op typed in to get this number. i tried leaf, green, blue, "porkyman trainer," none of it came close
realistically there's probably more than this
mii - a species of not-human
also the number i got isn't quite as close, so idk if they typed in just "mii" or what
b/k - op's number matches with the series name, so it's likely that other characters are included. i don't blame them for not actually counting, and the real number probably isn't too far off
snake - he's literally just a buff man. probably way more on other sites
dark pit - goth twink, probably way more on other sites
wolf - DEFINITELY way more on e6 lol he's fucking wolf, this should not surprise you
plant - intentionally weird porn, also it has thick lips
joker - same as dark pit but persona is more popular, also he's probably paired with the girls a lot
gren - realistically has less than wolf, maybe he has more on paheal cause he gets paired with human trainers a lot or something
bayo - she's intentionally horny all the time...
probably way more on other sites
incineroar - i don't need to explain this to you. more on e6, but less than wolf
ryu - buff main character, i imagine he gets paired with the girls more often than ken for one reason or another
ike - buff, also p sure he's a fan favorite
wft - canon buff gf/bf, pretty straightforward
falco - not much to say other than more on e6
m2 - same as falco, but a pokemon
cloud - probably spiked after ff7r, gets paired with tifa/aerith and also crossdresses
luigi - genuinely no idea. probably paired with some of the girls?
yoshi - furries. duh. more on e6
pit - canonically submissive so obviously he's getting paired with bigger women, also a twink
ganon - buff man.
kirby -
i checked and and the number is the character tag, not the series tag. it's worth noting that he's probably not the focal point for a lot of these but still
probably in intentionally weird porn too, like giving him a huge dick cause it's funny i guess
robin - anime girl (also boy but like come on)
lucina - anime girl but more popular
byleth - anime girl but even more popular
villager - the only human in a world of furries so you bet they're getting paired with them a fuckton. also potential for self-inserts
fox - more on e6. shouldn't have to explain
corrin - anime girl with feet (also part dragon)
palutena - anime girl but mature
charizard - big dragon. more on e6
mario - the main male character so probably gets paired with the girls a lot, including bowsette
daisy - girl.
rosalina - bigger girl.
isabelle - anthro dog. furries exist. do the math. more on e6.
pikachu - most popular pokemon. furries exist. do the math. more on e6
lucario - most popular FURRY pokemon. e6 number probably beats everyone else
inkling - moving inkling down here because the "inkling_girl" tag would place her here. inkling is a species including callie, marie, and pearl, not a character. if it makes you feel any better they're not all depicted as underage despite that technically being canon (somehow)
sonic - the paheal tag encompasses the series so idk how many actually include him, but it's also easy to pair him with other characters cause he's the mc, so i doubt it'd be too far off. definitely not the most popular sonic character though
bowser - i shouldn't have to explain this, and no i don't mean bowsette (though the tag probably includes her). more on e6
zero suit samus - duh.
zelda - "zelda" is the name of many different designs so there's a lot of characters that would still be correctly tagged as zelda
peach - main mario girl, also lowkey has DSL's
link - same as zelda, except he not only gets paired with a lot of girls (including other franchises) but botw definitely bumped him up in terms of gay art what with the gerudo outfit and kass and sidon
he 100% earned this spot
before anyone says "lol of course [minor] is popular they're in smash!! XDDDD" i advise you to
a. smash some bitches
b. try to be funny just once in your fucking life it's SO EASY to be funny and yet here you are fucking it up tremendously
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