Starting a thread of weird shit Jack says.
"Now we& #39;re cooking with grills."
https://twitter.com/alexwilliamatI/status/1346675535955566592?s=19">https://twitter.com/alexwilli...
Me while we& #39;re in bed: Jack, why are you not under the sheet?

Jack, looking me in the eye and with his whole chest: Sheets are for the KKK.
"My... Weenus iches."
"I felt it in my chest titties"
"I /still/ be feeling it in my chest titties."
A series of events:

Jack said "WHERE THE FUCK IS HULU" when it was on the screen.

Then he started crying.

Then he started saying random shit that didn& #39;t make sense.

Then he said "Alex... take me out back and treat me like Old Yeller."
"That& #39;s where everyone fucks their sister."
"I& #39;M TELLING YOOUUUU. TAKE ME OOOUUTTTT."
"I& #39;m gonna go jump into traffic."
"If you put your ass up in a storm... that& #39;s the best place to get lightening struck... your butthole is the best place to get struck by lightening. When you& #39;re in a lightening storm, put your butthole up first."
"We have a place here that sells magnum dongs—"
Jack: Now we& #39;re cooking with grill

Me: Just one grill?

Jack: Now we& #39;re cooking with Guy Fieri
Me *playing DND some friends while Jack watches*

Jack: You know, for Dungeons And Dragons, I never hear about the dragons.
Jack: I fucked up your Instagram lyrics.

Me, after a long silence: You... what?

Jack: I meant your phone password. I fucked up your password.
"I filled up the ship with rocket fuel." As he& #39;s shaking my foot.
Me: I& #39;m not done with it yet.

Jack, as loud as he can: OH, TITTY FUCK
Salem, playing Among Us: I don& #39;t like this map.

Jack: I DON& #39;T LIKE YOU.
Jack just hit on himself. It went like this:

"I just cleaned the whole house and now I& #39;m the only trash left... allow me to take you out... that was smooth."
Me: Jack, you laugh reacted your own message.

Jack: I KNOW, I& #39;M FUNNY.
"I am a legendary booty snatcher."
All in a sequence without any context or reason:
"Don& #39;t you believe me??"
"IIIII GOT BURRITOS"
*whispers* "Babe, now is not the time."
Me after shaving: I& #39;m as smooth as a dolphin

Jack without missing a beat: *sheep noises*
Jack:

Me:

Jack: ... I can& #39;t remember how to spell motercycurr

Me: That& #39;s because it& #39;s not a word.

Jack: *blanks on word "motorcycle"*

Jack: *sees bicycle in the road and points* IT& #39;S THAT BUT HARLEY
"I was watching a tide pod being mixed with blood"
Jack: Alex...

Me: You want me to take you out like Old Yeller?

Jack: Yep
"Hug a gorilla for me."
"The blood of my enemy is my vagina."
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