lol i love the idea of kacchan goin back in time & meeting his past self to give him shit but my absolute favorite is when he meets his middle school self bc MS!Kacchan would be all “fuck off old man” & kacchan'd just be like

“stfu brat i know what u think about when u jerk off”

I can imagine this happening in deku’s presence. Deku would be so fucking confused and flustered, looking back and forth between the two of them. MS!Kacchan’s face is bright red and he looks like he’s about to fucking combust and kacchan’s just got this shit eating grin lmao

MS!Kacchan’s like, “I don’t know what the fuck youre talking about!”
And Kacchan’s like, “Oh yeah? Maybe I should remind you. Right now. In front of Deku. I’m sure he’d find that REAL interesting.”
“D-Dont you fucking dare!”
“I thought you didn’t know what I was talking about..?”

MS!Kacchan’s palms start sparking involuntarily. “Get the fuck outta here, asshole!”

Kacchan ignores him. “What is this, third year?” He says, raising an eyebrow. “So that means the second year festival happened. The one where Deku had to wear that maid outfit for the play.”

MS!Kacchan’s eyes go wide, and he looks like he’s sweating.

“Oh yeah, I fucking remember, brat.” Kacchan says, smirking. “You made fun of Deku for fucking MONTHS. You know what ELSE you did for months?”

“Shut up, shut up, shut the fuck UP, YOU FUCKING—“

“Honestly, it’s a fuckin miracle you haven’t blown your damn dick off, you stupid horny fuck.”

“Kacchan, what’s he—“

MS!Kacchan’s head snaps toward deku and he yells, “SHUT YER FUCKIN TRAP YOU DAMN NERD.”

“Oh, that’s not very nice.” Kacchan says, raising an eyebrow.

“You really gotta work on being nicer, y’know, if you want Deku to let you fuck him. Like you fantasize about every fucking night. Fucking loser lol”

[will probably expand on this later bc this shit is fuckin hilarious to me and also extremely horny but alas it is nearly 4 AM]