tw// mentions of body image, body shaming, slut shaming, homophobia, transphobia

okay so, I'm sorry if this triggers anyone but this is for me to take it out, kind of vent, and just call it what it is since I'm fully realizing that I've been on a toxic relationship.

this is abt a particular person i work with, let's call her A bc of her initials, she's my mom's age (39/40) and she's my "supervisor" of sorts. yes, this is a work relationship bc toxic people can be in any part of your life, doesn't need to be necessarily romantic

"A" wasn't very fond of me when I started but I didn't think much of it bc i just got there so??? whatever. as time went by we started being more than civil and professional with each other and she kind of put me under her wing, she told me she didn't like me at the start but i+

"proved myself" to her and that she loved me like a daughter. this was months in, mind u, she made me think I was sO worth it bc now she liked me like woOow y'know? and me being emotionally vulnerable and having problems at home with my actual mom, just soaked in on the love

so A also wasn't the most loved person around, people from other sections of the place we work at didn't like her, she has this "ice queen" "tough one" imagine so i thought it was bc she's too stern, just so professional y'know? i thought it was something to look up to

but clearly that wasn't why, and i was dumb again lmao

she started to confide in me, tell me things abt her personal life with her husband and her financial situation, like actual friends would do. all of this contributing to the "she's actually my friend" thing

i would help her sometimes, not always with money but sometimes I would buy her lunch bc she "didn't have it at home", or help her on her work to make things easier since it isn't simple and it's pretty stressful

she manipulated me every day, some days she would get to work and be the ice queen even w me, made me think I did something to upset her, then come to me and apologize bc she took it out on me and i would just be okay with it, other days she would be so soft and warm and help me

with anything i needed and make me feel valid in some way, compliment my work, defend me even, everyone was skeptical abt her being an actual friend to me but I just ignored it, she treated me like a daughter (or i thought she did) and i treated her like a mom

there was this one time I had a fight with my mom, and i was the last one to go home that night, she was also there, so she asked me what happened bc she noticed that i was kinda sad the whole day. i talked abt it with her, she made me see a mom's point of view in the situation

we cried together that day.

all of this just made me think it was a solid friendship, u know? that i had no reason to worry or have any reservations bc all was well.

i was wrong, obviously. there was another situation where she was "there for me", wich it was after i had a fight at work with another co-worker. he was being nasty and body shaming someone to me, and i told him to shut up,

he kept going, kept trying to talk louder than me, to speak while i was still speaking, so i lost it and we said some pretty offending shit to each other

when it was over i started to cry bc i was overwhelmed, i don't get this angry often so,,, A saw me, asked to speak to me and took me somewhere private to calm me down. she also didn't like this co-worker and she was 100% supportive of me reporting him to our manager abt this

(a few months later he was fired bc he was actually problematic, not just bc of this situation but again, if THAT didn't happen they probably would've kept him for longer since corporations don't fuckin care y'all )

anyways, there was this one day where this guy (that i argued with) did some pretty fucked up things to A, work related, and on break time when I was there and she was venting, she said some pretty fucked up shit, called him a f*g, said he's a demon (she's kinda religious),

talked so much, and i was stunned bc wtf????? she KNOWS I'm part of the lgbtqia community, why did she thing it was okay to say that shit to me just bc it was abt someone we both have beef with? i was shocked and when she noticed, she apologized and said she didn't mean any of it

bc she was just angry. i didn't buy it, but didn't say anything.

well, since then i started to be more careful with her. bc it doesn't matter if the person is good to me, if they think and even say this kind of thing, they're not good.

a few weeks later, the manager talked to me abt training for a promotion. i would be in the same position with her, not better, not worse, the same. i said it was fine, and she immediately refused to train me. ??????? wtf

u would think since we're friends, that me being promoted to the same position as her wouldn't be a problem, right? wrong.
she refused to be the one who trained me for the position, i asked her if it was okay with her if i said yes to the position

I ASKED HER!!!!! IF IT WAS OKAY WITH HER!!!! IF >>>>I<<<<< SAID YES TO A POSITION OFFERED TO ME, MERIT OF MY WORK!!!! that's how deep in i was.

she said it was "fine, why wouldn't it be?". that was my cue to see it wasn't fine at all but at that point I was already kind of pissed at her for other things and just didn't care.

after i was moved to the position and trained by someone else, she changed completely with me, from one day to another, and i was just so tired of it all that i didn't mind.

i went on vacation and while being away from work for a month, i started to analyze things more deeply. how she manipulated me on an emotional state, how she took advantage of my "mommy issues", how i was her minion for some time, doing shit for her all the time

how she would subtly make comments abt my weight, like this one time when she mentioned her stretch marks and i, trying to make her feel better, said it was nothing bc i had them too, and she went on to tell me hers was bc she had two babies while mine was just bc i was fat.

how she would comment abt other people's bodies while i was near, people with the same body as mine, she was never careful abt what to say, and i acted like i didn't hear any of it.

how when i had the argument with my co-worker, who she coincidentally also didn't like, she was so "supportive" and wanted to know all abt it, and how she later admitted to me that she went all "it's me or him" at the manager who obviously didn't want to lose her since she IS

a good professional, so she directly was the reason why he got fired, and used the situation with me as one of her points to convince the manager to fire him.

how she would treat me like shit then apologize and be overly sweet to make me forgive her? to make me believe she liked me and it wasn't worth it to have an argument or be wary of her bc of this one little thing when she was so good to me?

make me do her work but the moment I'm offered the same position as her then I'm just not good enough for her anymore, completely cut me off and proceeds TO THIS DAY, to barely make eye contact and just talk to me the necessary, even then being overly polite in an almost

sarcastic way, waiting for a reaction, that i won't give her.

i realized it was better this way, i also didn't get to keep the position for whatever reason, pretty sure she has something to do with it, but it's fine bc if i did i would have to work directly with her, in contact 24/7, and i don't want that.

also the transphobic bit i tw abt is that she has a transgender sister that she barely talks abt and when she does she calls her by her dead name and refers to her as he/him and calls her "brother".

so with that i close my case, she's trash, every interaction i have with her is a chore, and hopefully next year either of us gets fired so we don't have to see each other every day.

ALSO, she called one of our colleagues a slut AND a d*ke bc of her outfit and the fact that she has a girlfriend. like.... dude, wtf this kind of person u would expect maturity of a 40yo woman but hEy we can't expect much from anyone these days.

also, just realized this, but the only people at work that she actually respects, without faking or wanting to be better than, is men. all men. the managers, the male clerk, the male supervisors. STRAIGHT males.

...well

it's been a minute and a lot happened so I'll update this thread :]

okay so, starting this year it was the same thing all over again, she treated me like shit and stuff but this time there was some new people there and wow, the amount of shit she makes them go through.

starting with T, she made the girl cry bc of a mistake that could easily be corrected and wasn't that big of a deal. she called the girl in private and talked to her, gave her a speech abt how she's usually like that bc she's strict and shit and afterwards made fun of T for+

crying, behind her back and said that "she doesn't care, just go to the HR if they're bothered"

now, V is a very shy, very anxious girl that I grew attached to in just a few months, I care a lot abt her and she's unfortunately an "easy" target for A, she gives the girl actual anxiety crisis at work, constantly criticism, keeps acting like V is a kid and shouldn't be there+

most times she does that no one is around to say anything and V can't do it so she has free reing to kill the girl's spirit and self esteem the whole time.

then we have M, who she ALSO thinks is an easy target but truth is, one day this girl is going to flip and just beat her up bc she's at her limit.

again with the body shaming, she asked a lot of times if M was pregnant and like, looking at her stomach kinda making it seem like she was saying "u got fat"

and M doesn't have a healthy relationship with food so

also, the other day a client complained abt a price that was wrong on the shelf, and she was in a bad mood I guess, treated the guy like shit and also M like shit bc she was the one checking his groceries out. he realized she was making M uncomfortable and after everything was+

done, he asked M for A's name and wanted to talk to the manager. later that night A ironically thanked M for giving the guy her name, she said "thanks for telling my name to that f*g" (yes she's a homophobe she uses slurs often)

either way, this all happened before she went on vacation for a month on April.

actually wait, my dissociative ass forgot abt the fact that she gave me a whole anxiety crisis too

a few months back, pandemic still going strong but all grocery stores are fucking packed, so lots of people and I was out of change, that day she was on a register too so she gave me $100 in cash, smaller bills, and I gave her a $100 bill to pay for it, idk how to explain anyway-

by the end of the night, she said I didn't pay her, I said I did so we got a whole argument there, we closed and I counted my money it was right, exact, I hate math but I was right, if I haven't paid for it, there would be $100 more than it was supposed to but there WASN'T SO

she kept saying that it was too weird, that she swears I didn't pay, that they'd have to see on camera later and blabla, I was listening ready to slap a bitch bc what????? she thinks I stole from the drawer???? is that what she's insinuating????

her register missed 100 and mine was perfect, I was pissed but holded until I got home, I was barely passed my front door and I started to shake and cry hysterically, my mom was so calm idk how, she waited for me to calm down cuz she didn't know how to make me calm down and+

asked what happened. I told her in detail and she told me that first, I had to get there the next day early and ask for the images, I have to see on camera to prove that I paid her to shut her up, then I would need to go to my superior and talk about this. and thats what I did.

proved that I paid her, she did nOT apologize for the assumptions she made but I don't care, I went to my superior and told her everything, honestly warned her abt everything that was happening so that she wouldn't be surprised if I decide to make it a huge deal and make a scene

one of these days. she was fine with it and said I was right. unfortunately tho, she can't actively do anything abt A bc that's the manager's job but it was fine at the time.

WELL, on April she went on a month vacation, on the first week the manager wanted a meeting with everyone, he talked about things that we already knew, some rules, normal staff meeting stuff and then asked if anyone had anything to add, and not a soul made a sound

I was pissed at first but I understood that most of the girls A bullies can't really come forward with accusations bc they're scared of her, or of loosing their jobs. so I did, after the meeting I went to the manager's office and talked to him about everything,

since the very beginning, abt her homophobic ass, abt how she intimidates the new girls, how she actively bullies everyone, how most things she does go unpunished and everything else. he was quite impressed, idk how he didn't know most of these things but he looked

pretty surprised. after that, a few days later, my superior asked all of us to write letters on A, abt her behavior, things she said and did, everything that doesn't sit right with us, sign it and give it to the manager.

we all did, all 16 of us.