Rich bitch bkg is desperately trying to woo the cute nerd who works in the bookshop near his office. Unfortunately deku is friends with one todoroki shouto, so he's completely desensitised to rich people and remains Extremely Unimpressed :')

Bkg first met him because some idiot intern forgot to buy printer paper, making him (him! The boss!) run down the street to the closest store. It's a cute little place. Yellow walls, fat orange cat that bkg almost trips over and subsequently shouts at.

The cashier's cute too. Too bad he gives bkg the stinkeye for daring to snap his fingers for him to hurry up. But bkg's always got his eye on the prize, so he comes back the next day, in a sharp suit and slicked-back hair, to make nice and maybe get the guy's number

Bkg: hey, sorry about yesterday. I was a little stressed. Interns, right? It's hard being the boss of a multi million dollar company

Deku: that's nice, sir. Are you planning to buy anything?

Bkg: dinner? maybe for you?

Deku: sir we sell books here

Bkg: aw, you're coy, huh. I like that in a guy. When do you get off work?

Deku: if you're not buying anything I'm going to have to ask you to leave

Bkg: don't be like that. Let me take you somewhere, my treat. Do you like champagne?

Deku: you're holding up the line

Bkg: what line? There's nobody here

Deku: there's someone right behind you

Bkg: ...Do you mean the guy with the cat wrapped around his neck like a scarf

Tdrk, chewing his way through a snickers bar: hi midoriya

Deku: hi todoroki-kun :) are you hiding from your dad again?

Tdrk: i don't know why he never checks here. I brought you a sundae with gold leaf in it. Maybe it'll make you poop gold

Bkg: you his boyfriend?

Tdrk: no

Bkg: cool. Dibs, then. Hop in my car, cutie, I'll take you anywhere you like.

Deku: is it the benz outside?

Bkg: that's right

Deku: the tacky red one with a scratch on the bumper and crooked muffler?

Bkg: wh

Tdrk: that model's two years old.

Bkg: you want me to buy a new car every year?

Deku: tdrk does. Do you have one of those?

Tdrk: no, I'm more of a luxury car man myself

Bkg: a benz IS a luxury car, dumbass

Tdrk: oh. You must be new money.

Bkg: the fuck is that supposed to mean

Tdrk: Flashy. Very 'look at me, i need attention'. Can't be rich if no one sees you do it

Deku: his license plate even has his name on it lol

Bkg: the fuck else was i supposed to get?

Tdrk, scratching the cat: a better car, for one

Bkg: alright, i don't have time for this. Let's get out of here, cutie

Deku: i have work. I need to get paid

Bkg: wouldn't have to worry about money when you're with me

Deku: because you happen to have rich parents ?

Bkg: baby, I'm self made. I built my own company from the ground up

Deku: who were your first investors

Bkg: what

Deku: where did you get your capital

Bkg:

Deku: Who financed your business??

Bkg: ...mparents....

Deku: pardon me

Bkg: i gotta go

Anyway bkg keeps coming back with expensive gifts and promises of pampering. Deku doesn't really care because a) he has more important things to do and b) tdrk has better stuff and he doesn't yell at cats. Yeah bkg's hot and all but he honestly seems like kind of a dick

Bkg: I'll take you on a joyride

Deku: i get carsick

Bkg: we'll go to the Bahamas

Deku: i can't swim

Bkg: designer clothes

Deku: they'd be wasted on me

Bkg: you'll never have to work again

Deku: i like my job

Bkg: seriously, what's it gonna take? I'm hot, I work out, I'm literally promising you the world here

Deku: i don't need the world, bakugou-san. Money doesn't buy happiness

Bkg: yes the fuck it does. It buys everything. It's money.

Bkg comes by every day when he has free time and asks deku out. Deku always says no. It becomes kind of a ritual lol bkg knows he's gonna be rejected but comes anyway because he honestly likes hanging out with deku even if stupid tdrk's always there

Partly it's pride; he's use to being popular and wanted but deku's indifference makes bkg desperate to win him over. He tries everything. He can tell deku accepts the fancy food and gifts just to be polite (except the rolex lol deku flat out refused to take that)

But also deku's adorable and clever and surprisingly funny when he wants to be. He's also painfully sweet. He loves animals and his mother and his friends. His eyes sparkle and his stupid smile is like sunshine and bkg is Smitten

Bkg, hovering around the door, eyeballing the cat: what's so great about you anyway

Cat: mau

Bkg: what? Why does he like you so much? Just because you have fur?

Cat: (rolls over)

Bkg: ... Ugh, fine

Deku, coming out of the back room: oh it's y-

Bkg, scratching the cat behind the ear, grumbling under his breath because the dumb thing is leaving hair all over him : i guess you're fine

Deku, immediately softening: come on in

Long story short bkg eventually figures out the way to deku's heart is by just not being a pretentious douche. Deku actually likes him for his personality, god help him. the first time he says yes to a date they ignore their dinner reservation to chase ducks around at the park

Deku, wrinkling his nose at bkg's lobster bisque: yeah ok this was fun and all but i should go take my cactus for a walk

Deku, watching bkg hahfhasfhasfahaf around his hot mcdonalds fries, chewing with his mouth animal like a wild animal: kacchan let's hold hands :)

Ok i had a weird week and wanted to write something self indulgent lol

Also no deku did not poop gold but they're still trying, godspeed

Anyway fuck deku if anyone wants a sugar baby I'm not too good for that shit, call me https://ko-fi.com/E1E2OGQQ