I make pretty good gumbo. Every year, about 24 hours from now, I get texts asking for my "recipe" so they can do something with their fancy fried turkey.

This year it's just me and wife and kids, so I'm making gumbo tomorrow.

I think I'm supposed to all caps THREAD here.

If I texted you this link in response to such a request, hi! I did this for you and also because I'm drunk

I roasted a couple chickens tonight, and they will be stand ins for your turkey. No pictures, as they currently no longer resemble chickens.

I did not think this out ahead of time.

Tonight I'm making stock. You must make your own stock. This is not negotiable. You have a whole turkey carcass right there. Save all the meat you can.

I was just informed that my children used my favorite stock pot as a stepstool and broke it (?!!). So I will be making stock in this giant weird canning thing. Off to a bad start.

How do you fucking break a stock pot? Jesus.

Here's a picture of a bunch of vegetable scraps. And a couple onions and bell peppers. Some red pepper, black peppercorns, bay leaves, thyme and parsley stems, a head of garlic. I put it in the pot.

For you this may be all the scraps from making side dishes on Thanksgiving. Use whatever sounds good. You have some leeway here.

"Carrots, are you sure?" you question me. "What the fuck is your problem," I respond, "I JUST SAID USE WHATEVER YOU WANT MOTHERFUCKER"

More

Chopped up the carcasses (carci?), broke all the bones with a big cleaver (This is fun and dangerous. Please keep track of the pieces that take flight, they are dangerous to kids and pets) and re-roasted it. 450 or whatever the fuck you want until it looks like this mess.

It's all in the big weird blue pot, at a nice simmer. Has been for maybe 30 minutes while I played on my phone. I've set an alarm for 1 am. Again, not well planned.

Alarm went off. Haven't slept yet. We are here

Scoop out the big stuff and run it through a strainer a couple times. Don't get all fucking weird with fancy shit like cheesecloth or whatever. The desired result:

It goes in the fridge while I get another Clyde's. Good night

Why do kids wake up so early? If I could be 4 again I'd have bed sores. THEY HAVE NO REASON TO EVER BE AWAKE AT ANY GIVEN TIME. But it's 100 goddamn miles an hour with "why do birds fly but rabbits can't" or whatever at 6 am Thanksgiving morning. Jerks.

Happy Thanksgiving. Gimme a few minutes to get my shit together and then I'll bless you with my wholly unqualified opinions on roux.