1. My wife’s family has an interesting Christmas tradition. Her mother is one of 8 kids, and the centerpiece of their family xmas party is an ornament “exchange” that's not an exchange at all: as kids, they often wanted to keep the ornaments they picked out for each other...

2. so the exchange evolved into a game where everyone brings an ornament, wrapped anonymously, and the family has to guess who brought each one. People tend to bring ornaments that express their personality, their hobbies, a trip they took that year, etc.

3. Neither the party nor the exchange are happening this year for obvious reasons, but we're looking for ornaments anyway. And it occured to me that there must be some pretty ridiculous 2020 novelty ornaments out there.

Buckle up, dear reader!

4. Certainly it was an eventful year, but if you went by Christmas ornaments alone, you might forget there's a global pandemic on, for it seems that the most significant event of the year was a *dire shortage of toilet paper.*

5. Naturally, there are lots of Santas in surgical masks. Whoever made the vintage-looking one gets bonus points, in my book.

6. You can even combine the two genres, yielding a Santa carrying a giant TP roll. This hints at the bizarre aesthetics to come: the internet's tendency to mash things together and print them on a T-shirt...or a novelty ornament [see https://thehustle.co/who-makes-those-insanely-specific-t-shirts-on-the-internet/]

7. No 2020 Christmas tree is complete without a virus that personifies or commemorates the coronavirus itself!

8. I mean who can forget the year when more than a quarter of a million Americans died from ... "your text here"

9. Reflecting the general assessment of this year, there are commemorative dumpster fires galore. Most of them have the same quote, a variation on everyone's favorite coffee-sipping dog cartoon.

10. These also run up against the internet's bizarre penchant for customization. If you're the kind of person who monograms your kid's backpack and *also* for some reason wish to conflate your family name with a shorthand for "complete disaster," boy do I have a product for you!

11. The dumpster fire ornaments intersect with what must be a new innovation in the novelty ornament market - you can download the plans to 3D-print your own 2020 dumpster fire!

12. There are lots of algorithmically generated monstrosities, such as this truly bizarre (and very redundant?) word cloud ornament, which an AI shopfront will be happy to sell you.

13. There's also this completely incoherent mashup of a 2006 chart-topper, an adorably circular Star Wars character, and toilet paper. What do these things have to do with each other? Absolutely nothing! Because algorithmic capitalism!

14. And algorithmic/customizable or not, there are lots of ornaments with that horrible calligraphy font. Live, Laugh, Love, Leave six feet between you and the next person in line!

15. Of course, my personal favorite ornaments commemorate one of the most important media events of 2020. No, not the election, the final season of Schitt's Creek!

https://www.popsugar.com/home/schitt-creek-ornaments-47864212?stream_view=1

[that's it...for now...]