Thread

Three years ago, America was locked in a battle for #NetNeutrality , and, by extension, life as we knew it.

For the lucky few who survived, I invite you to join me on a quick stroll down memory lane to revisit the doom and gloom we were promised. https://twitter.com/newsycombinator/status/1331357412239024136

There was a concerted push in the Senate, so it makes sense to start there, where we had many, many examples of people who get paid by your tax dollars pushing a bogus conspiracy theory that repealing #NetNeutrality would mean no more internet.

@SenWarren led the charge.

But she wasn’t alone. Her Massachusetts compatriot, @SenMarkey, was right behind her, with claims every bit as outlandish.

Repealing #NetNeutrality would mean “killing the free and open internet.”

Okay.

“the internet and its free exchange of information as we have come to know it will cease to exist” is how @SenSanders put it.

I mean, cmon guys! Did they hear themselves when they talked about this??

Perhaps the most needlessly dramatic came from (former) @SenFranken, who called “ #NetNeutrality [the] free speech issue of our time” which, I think it’s safe to say, has not been a call supported by recent history.

He gets a good run for his money from @RonWyden though, who promised us - I kid you not - “digital serfdom” (!!) if the rules were reversed.

“Ending #NetNeutrality ends the internet as we know it” said @SenatorTester, who was joined by @CoryBooker as part of a “Day of the Action” for all this.

Simpler times, man.

@PattyMurray captured the sentiment at the time well when she accused @realDonaldTrump of ignoring “the pleas of millions of Americans” on this very life or death matter that no one has thought about in years.

It wasn’t just the Senate either.

We couldn’t possibly have a left-wing conspiracy theory that didn’t include @RepAdamSchiff!

And surely you remember former member of Congress @BetoORourke, of “I want to be in it. Man, I’m just born to be in it” fame.

From the Democrats lips to the media’s ears, in what would become a trend over the interceding years.

Leading the hysterical charge here was - shocker! - @CNN, who declared the “End of the internet as we know it” on their homepage.

Any follow up on that one, guys?

You’ll be very surprised to also see @nytimes following what would become a tried-and-true faux outrage framing.

Also serves as a good reminder that teenage voices can, on all things and at all times, be ignored.

@washingtonpost is here with the necessary reminder that news outlets doing “news analysis” is just an excuse for them to share their opinions behind a veneer of authority they don’t deserve.

There were lots of others, too. Here’s just a smattering of the headlines from the Bad Old Times, from:

@NBCNews (“ending net neutrality will destroy everything that makes the internet great”)
@guardian ( @AjitPaiFCC was “the man who could doom”)
@thenation &
@GQMagazine (lol)

It’s worth pausing here to point out that none of this came to pass. The internet remains as free and open as ever, speeds have increased, prices have dropped, you aren’t paying to use Google (I hope!) and there hasn’t been one iota of accountability despite all that.

Back to the bad takes. Of course, there were the blue checks. Ohhh, the blue checks.

The leading blue check cheerleader on this, you may remember, was @Alyssa_Milano, who tweeted nonstop conspiracy theories about #NetNeutrality for months.

Here’s just a sampling:

“I’m not owned! I’m not owned!” @Alyssa_Milano shouted, as she slowly turned into a corncob. Cc @AjitPaiFCC

Honestly I thought about just posting this one from @Alyssa_Milano and leaving it at that.

Her sidekick was @MarkRuffalo, who wasn’t much better.

An “authoritarian dream” suggestion ahead of its time.

Nothing says “we are about to lose the internet as we know it” like tweeting about it one time in December of 2017 and then never revisiting it, right, @VanJones68?

It’s never good when Twitter academics get involved.

Remember when repealing #netneutrality meant paying for everything? @profcarroll does.

Although I would unironically support extortionately taxing porn, both because it’s evil and because it would anger the libertarians.

There are few people in politics who are more hateful than @funder. This was just one of many examples.

Ryan was a “traitor” for not scheduling a vote on #NetNeutrality ? Goodness.

I try to take most people in good faith on these threads. Dworkin is an exception. Just shameful.

This was one of the original #resistance conspiracy theories. You can see it yourself: just search “Google: $1.99/per search” (which also is bad grammar) and you can get an idea.

Here’s just a smattering of viral ones. Anyone currently paying per search?

Yeah. Didn’t think so.

This would of course go on to be just one of many incidents (tax cuts, Kavanaugh, impeachment, etc.) where the end was nigh until, well, it wasn’t.

Problem is, this’ll keep happening so long as there’s no accountability after the fact. In this case, we got none. We need it.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy your Thanksgivings with your loved ones. Lord knows we all need it after the year 2020 has been, regardless of your political persuasion.

But please, try not to spread conspiracy theories in the process this year.

I’ve done many of these - as surely most of you know - but this one definitely contains the most disingenuous takes, that are more disconnected from reality, and come from those with more power, than probably any other.

And that’s saying something.

So if nothing else, I hope it can serve as a good reminder that lots of people stand to make lots of money (and gain lots more power) by ensuring that you’re scared, and that, many times, there isn’t a reason for you to be as scared as they would like...

...and on that note, check out my latest piece about that same subject when it comes to the coronavirus, up at @dcexaminer: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/op-eds/we-cant-just-listen-to-the-scientists-theres-more-involved%3f_amp=true