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I did it again" I sigh in exasperation. I& #39;m soaked in sweat. Soaked in my sin.
I remember yesterday and the day before that,I& #39;d made a resolve not to visit that site. Made a resolve not to go to that page. Here I am,less than 24 hours later, back to starting point.
I remember yesterday and the day before that,I& #39;d made a resolve not to visit that site. Made a resolve not to go to that page. Here I am,less than 24 hours later, back to starting point.
This has been my struggle for years now. I genuinely want to do better; read self help books ,watched videos,even started following the 12 steps to recovery,prayed ,fasted. All my efforts always come to naught! My hormones win every single time!
I feel like a hypocrite. I mean,I& #39;m supposed to be this flawless upstanding Christian. A model of virtue who should be in full control of her body and doesn& #39;t have that & #39;once in a while slip& #39; but no. I just can& #39;t seem to do better.
There& #39;s something I& #39;m doing wrong. I must be missing something and what& #39;s worse, there& #39;s nobody I can talk to. you know,like a confidante.think of someone I can tell..yes!totally. I can be myself with him,he will not be judgemental. He loves me.. unconditionally.
Nooo...you& #39;re thinking it& #39;s God right? (rolls eyes) well,nah. It isn& #39;t. It& #39;s this guy I& #39;m in talking stage with. Surely he could help. Nah.i& #39;ll pass. I can& #39;t afford to taint that perfect image he has of me. That the girl he holds in such high esteem is addicted to porn? Nah.
Not happening.
After a while of introspection,I& #39;ve made no headway..just then,images flash in my head. Sensual cannot-be-ignored images."not again" I groan. Knowing that this time also,I will give in. Just then,I hear a still small voice whisper "My grace is sufficient"
After a while of introspection,I& #39;ve made no headway..just then,images flash in my head. Sensual cannot-be-ignored images."not again" I groan. Knowing that this time also,I will give in. Just then,I hear a still small voice whisper "My grace is sufficient"
I ignore it as usual and go ahead to have those 30 seconds of bliss. Very slowly, but steadily, I feel the guilt edging it& #39;s way in and that& #39;s when my eye catches one of the sticky notes I have posted on my mirror. It reads..
.... "Yet amid all these things,we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through him who loved us" Romans 8:37. I dwell on it awhile before the goddess of afternoon naps sweeps me away.
I hope this thread awakens the realisation that your body belongs to God and he created the flesh hence, it has no power over you. If you& #39;re struggling with pornography, check out @iammiketodd & #39;s video on YouTube "the compromise of pornography" https://youtu.be/ewJ2ek5qj50 ">https://youtu.be/ewJ2ek5qj...
