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Some people dislike the comparison, but I believe good friends and romantic or business partners are valuable assets that one should keep for the long-run.
Here's why relationships are much like investments in stocks, and why they should be plenty, diverse, and long-term
Here's why relationships are much like investments in stocks, and why they should be plenty, diverse, and long-term
1) Statistics show that day-traders make less money than long-term investors due to the costs of capital turnover. I believe the same goes for romantic relationships. Break-ups are often emotionally costly, and the fallout usually affects everyone nearby.
1a) Same for friends. You might be constantly meeting new people, but not strenghtening the connections means you'll hop from colleague to colleague, stuck in the part where you try to know more about each other and never getting to the point of meaningful conversations.
1b) When it comes to relationships (hell, and everything long-term), I have the impression that people have been growing too impatient. Don't stop working before it starts working.
2) Furthermore, refraining from diving heads down into long-term relationships for fear of being hurt won’t let you reap the benefits of compound interest. https://twitter.com/BrunoArine/status/1257071445009666050?s=20
3) Remaining uninvolved is a valid way to avoid pain (spoiler: other ppl can hurt sometimes), but the potential gains of a deep, meaningful relationship with another human being are significantly greater. "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
4) When it comes to relationships, risks and returns, just like stocks, are asymmetrical: your losses are bounded (you can only lose what you invest), but gains are not (think of beneficial black swans).
5) Eschewing long-term relationships for their downsides also means you will be living half a human experience. You won't develop psychological flexibility and emotional maturity that comes with it. These are second-order losses which lone wolves don’t account for.
6) “Always put the possibility of joy before the need to be safe.” (Ngakpa Chögyam)
7) BUT
Not all relationships should be kept forever. You’ll eventually invest a lot in an awesome relationship that can eventually spoil and become toxic. Or maybe a friendship withered for no reason. That’s why you should have as many high-quality acquaintances as possible.
Not all relationships should be kept forever. You’ll eventually invest a lot in an awesome relationship that can eventually spoil and become toxic. Or maybe a friendship withered for no reason. That’s why you should have as many high-quality acquaintances as possible.
8) If you have only one friend and the friendship withers, you'll go nuts over the relative pain of losing 100% of your friends. That wouldn't be the case if you lost 1 out of 10 close friends.
Having a lot of people in your life also makes you more selective on whom to let in.
Having a lot of people in your life also makes you more selective on whom to let in.
