BANGS AT YOUR DOOR OKAY HEAr ME OUT BKDK WHERE RICH BOI CEO BKG IS GETTING MARRIED TO SOME EXTRA BCOS HIS MOTHER SAID SO and THEY WOULD DO IT TO A REMOTE ISLand to avoid preening eyes from the media. The wedding day arrives but little miss extra bride to be gets a hissy fit and

ran off somewhere and now the PA is in shambles there was snitch who sold off the wedding to the media and tHEIR BRIDE WAS MISSING. Not wanting anymore pain in the ass issue and made up story by the media the PA finds a decoy bride

Enter Deku.

Because the place was really remote there were hardly any young ones who almost has the same height/fit as the bride. The older ones were, well, old and mostly were married.

Now, Deku because of his smol frame catches the PA’s eyes...

PA, out of breath: YOU!

Deku, minding his own business in a gacha: ...

PA: HEY,, heLLO??

Deku, sighing: if its another one of yall being hired by mother to give me /those/ talks about getting married bcos I’m getting old istg—

PA: Congratulations you’re getting married

Deku:

Deku: what are you on???

PA: Im high on caffeine and I literally lack serotonin at this point bcos life sucks and it’s sucking me dry. Im hiring you to be a decoy bride.

Deku: a what now

PA, pulling their hair out: You’ll get the chance to be a temporary bride of the most reknowned ceo of this times and —

Deku, unfazed: nobye. Go beyond, Plus Ultra—!

PA, grabbing him: waiT, we’ll pay you! How much?? Just name your price!

Deku proudly pointing at himself: No amount of money can ever buy this bad bo—

PA, eyeing the AM gacha game Deku was playing: *deadpan* We’ll give you all the limited edition All Might in Wonderland figurine set.

Deku, not even a second of rethinking his life choices:

Makeover time:

Deku: what is that?

Lady with tweezer: mini tongs for small things

Deku, offended: Okay, I know what tweezers are... Just what are you gonna use it for— ow lady!

Lady: for your eyebrows... its all over the place except ur actual eyebrows

Due to the runaway bride, they don’t have all the needed materials to disguise a man to be a lady

PA, eyeing Deku: Something is off

Artist: yeah...

Stylist: It’s the hair... its too dark

PA: They don’t really sell bleach in this God forsaken island

Stylist, hits blunt: Clorox

Deku: YOU ARE NOT PUTTING TOILET CLEANER ON MY HAIR WHAT IS WRONG WITH YALL???

PA: don’t be a diva we’ll just dab on it to make it lighter

Deku, undressing: aight imma head out.

They didnt do it in the end.

PA, infuriated: SOMETHING IS STILL MISSING!!! THE WEDDING IS LIKE IN AN HOUR!!

Artist: ...

Stylist: ...

Deku:...

Deku: Why does it feel airy in my chest?

Alternative solution for the boobs problem: SO MUCH PILLOW COTTON

Result: Perfect Cup but itchy

Bribe to endure it: Plus one Aizawa rabbit figurine from the same AM in Wonderland

Alternative for dark hair: SO MUCH VEIL AND LIGHT CURTAIN

Result: Covered but can’t see shit

On their way:

PA: You know the rite of marriage right?

Deku, bregudgingly: I memorized it right after my bride-to-be suddenly came to my apartment with a guy who has his hands all over her. She thought I was out and had the audacity—

PA: chill out, it was a yes or no question.

PA: Can you recite it without your dialect?

Deku:...

Deku:...

Deku, clearly lying through his teeth because he has been living in the island for months now: YEAH OF COURSE!

Mini explanation: If I remember correctly, Japanese have different dialects?? I’m not so sure but umm if yall watched haikyuu just imagine Deku having Atsumo’s dialect or the Miya twins dialect

The ceremony was just composed of both bride-to-be and groom’s family...
Thankfully, there were guards that is why the media was just right outside.

Walking down the aisle Deku tried to gracefully do so but failed miserably considering his obscure vision.

Deku, hitting the chairs, tripping, and all other struggles imaginable just to reach the altar.

Bkg: Dafuq???

Bkg: Are you drunk or smth?

Deku, internally: just ignore him and get this over with...

Bkg: keh, ignoring me huh? Typical.

Deku: rude... no wonder his bride ran...

Bkg: The fuck are you muttering for?

Deku: *moves his head to the side to further ignore the man*

The priest who heard not one but two curse words in his church:

Rite of Marriage:

Bkg, finishes his smoothly:

Deku, struggling: I, *y/n*, takE yoU, Bakugo Katsuki, TO bE mY hIsbanD

The PA:

Thankfully, the PA told everyone about the decoy bride so they just played along with it. Everyone except Bkg because the PA knew what’s next to happen.

Bkg, realizing: Who the fuck—?

Priest: Young man language please

Bkg, ripping off the veil: WHOM the fuck???

Bkg, eyes wide: DEKU?!

Deku as surprised as he is: /THE/ BAKUGOU KATSUKI??? KaccHan?!!!

PA, in the verge of crying: PlEASE Bkg just play along for a while there are literally media— WAIT, you two know each other??

Deku: NO!

Bkg: YES.

[TBC]

PA, elated for the first time in their life: PERFECT! You don’t have to do much anymore you just got to walk out there holding hands— WAIT JUST CARRY HIM istg if I see you walk like that again I will order my coffin right here right now...

Deku, shaking his head: NO NO WAY! You are NOT GONNA DO ANY OF THAT! Just order your coffin and make sure there is space because I have embarrassed myself enough for today and I will not, I repeat, I WILL NOT BE WITH THIS GUY ANYMORE THAN A SEC—

*Bkg scoops him up bridal style*

Deku, struggling: Hey, PUT ME DOWN!

Bkg: Just shut up the faster we’re out the faster we get this over with...

PA, covering Deku’s face with the veil again: That’s right just endure it for a bit more or until we find the bride...

Deku: UNTIL YOU FIND THE BRIDE??!! That wasn’t what we talked about! Give me back my time and reputation

PA: You should have asked for a contract then. You do know, words can be changed anytime.

Deku, accidentally grabbing the PA’s face instead of just their arms:

I kinda feel bad for the PA rn lmao... anyway

On their way out:

Bkg: Fucking quit struggling Deku—

Deku: It’s because thE way you carrY me is weird and —

Bkg:...

Deku:...

Bkg:...

Deku: You might want to retract your hand from my chest.

Bkg: *fondles it* the fuck you have boobs fo—

Outside:

Cameraman 1: hey they’re out— *takes pics*

Cameraman 2: huh, why is the bride’s face veiled??

Journalist: More importantly, why is Bkg’s lips busted

Cameramen: *looks*

Cameraman 2: You right... Damn, must’ve been one hell of a kiss...

Having no other place to hide to they went to where the wedding reception was supposed to happen in(thankfully no one snitched about this, only the church) . The family decided to just go home at this point so its really just Bkg and Deku there (The PA still finding for bride)

Bkg: ...

Deku: ...

Bkg: How the fuck did you get in this position anyway?

Dk, averting his eyes: ...

Bkg: oi, quit ignoring me!

Dk, quietly: yourPAmayhavebribedmewithlimitededitionAMinwonderlandfigurinesjusttobeadecoybride...

Bkg, eyes wide clearly fascinated: yOu WOT?!

Deku: Aight, Im gonna get drunk...

Bkg: Oi, don’t fucking touch those this ain’t your wedding.

Dk, flexing his hands with their rings on it: It /is/ in fact, my wedding...

Dk: Also, your PA lied to me and now I’m stuck here with you I think I deserve a bit of compensation

Little BG: They knew each other back in univ.

After who knows how much bottle of wine

Chill times:

Bkg: I thought you got married already?? Ei told me when you guys met...

Dk: Nah, broke it off with her right before the wedding. *sighs* I’m a kryptonite to women...

Bkg: but not to men

Deku: huh?

Bkg: huh.

Heated times:
Deku: —And THEN YOU DROPPED my All Might merch!

Bkg: WHA— it was an accident! Don’t tell me the reason you can’t stand me rn is simply because of that!

Deku: MAYBE SO

Deku: You also shamelessly flirted with my first gf!

Bkg: SHE WASN’t eveN the one I’m trying to flirt with!

Deku: huh?

Bkg: huh.

Chill times again tipsier bkdk
Deku, laying on the floor bcos it’s colder there: Did you put your name in the contract?

Bkg, right beside him: obv.

Deku *snorts*: I may have gotten the idea that it was my own wedding and accidentally wrote my own name.

Bkg: ..!

Deku: *snores*

Okay I have no idea where I’m going with this lmao
So uhh end here ig???

If ya like what i do, consider buying me coffee??? https://ko-fi.com/rinartssance 

Plot twist: The bride was actually the snitch because she knew could get away from the wedding or the wedding would be postponed again if the media was there. She didn’t really want to get married lmao she ain’t even mad fbdjjdsn