I’m going to rewatch Home Alone for the first time in 20 years. Very excited.
Fucking BALLER John Williams score kicking things off right.
I forgot to mention also there’s mezcal.
Les Incompetents- rude, Linnie.
Why are none of these children concerned about the unexplained presence of this police person.
Also why are none of the adults concerned.
This is what my parents house is like at thanksgiving btw. A delightful shitshow.
TICKET IN THE TRASH. MISSTEP NUMBER ONE.
You guys O’Hara is a fucking BAAABE.
FULLER MOVED TO DIFFERENT BED DUE TO BEDWETTING. MISSTEP TWO.
UNEXPECTED POWER OUTAGE! MISSTEP!
GTFO of here Mitch Murphy you’re gonna fuck up the head count.
Mitch. Fucking misstep in human form.
Aw. Pre 9/11 airport security is so cute.
PARENTS IN FIRST, KIDS IN COACH. MISSTEP.
Yo why these people own so many manikins.

My nana and grandad had a laundry chute like that. Always seemed EXTREMELY fancy.
Acey said TEN PERCENT, Johnny.

KEVIN!
If we were remaking this movie today I would be offered the role of dowdy old aunt Leslie and I find this irritating. Let’s dismantle Hollywood.
I really appreciate how these robbers have ritualized their thievery. Little traditions between the two of them. It’s kind of sweet, really.
You gotta admire their commitment to only using the words “home alone” to describe the situation.
You guys is that fucking Hope Davis?
IT IS! She’s only ACTING French!

I’m not afraid of tarantulas because A. They aren’t poisonous B. I lived in the Texas panhandle C. They’re too big to hide places which is nice.
Once upon a time my brother went on a paid fishing expedition and the expert fisherman he was with was the man who played the policeman that chases Kevin in this film. When I was a 9 year old dreaming of being an actor this seemed like a relevant opportunity to network.
Ok but Marv babe, Harry is right -The Wet Bandits is so fucking stupid.
Ok. The silhouette party though. Question of why they own so many manikins aside- Kevin is an actual genius?
This poor pizza delivery kid. Come on.
Aaaaand this is the point wherein Kevin becomes the villain.
Real talk: when did Kevin perfect his droopy eyed Bing Crosby impression? Uncanny.
Still hasn’t mastered aftershave however.
God bless the props guy that rigged those grocery bags to break.
YAAAAS KEV CONQUER YOUR FURNACE FEARS.
Would hit 1990 Daniel Stern 100%.
All the gate agents in this movie are lil’ bitches.
Aw you guys. John Candy. God bless him.
Also I took a break to make another Paloma! Obviously.
Okay 2020 Allison is realizing that this movie is veeerrrrryyyy white. Let’s correct this as well in the remake wherein I’m not Aunt Leslie.
O’ Holy Night is the kind of melancholy Christmas banger I live for.
Roberts Blossom is so on point in this role. I just love him. Meet your neighbors, folks! They’re probably not serial killers! Maybe they just had a falling out with their kid! They’re so lonely, maybe!
OH SHIT CAROL OF THE BELLS TIME YALL! BATTLE STATIONS!
The milk in the goblet kills me.
Poor sweet Joe Pesci not allowed to curse in his improvisations.

Lot of work for the feathers trap Kev, and it doesn’t even hinder anyone.

Tarantula to the rescue! Friend not foe!
Seemingly creepy neighbor to the rescue! Friend not field!
Always felt a little sorry for Pesci in that last shot though. The police car pull away. Kevin’s shitty little grin. The mournful Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas playing.
Candy improved his speech about the funeral parlor. I love the guy, but I also know O’Hara’s look well. 45 mins so your costar can riff while the mostly male crew laughs and laughs. She’s an incredible straight man and the Candy cameo was a coup, but boy can it wear on you.
At least it’s a two shot so she could interject if she wanted to.
Kevin needed a lot of therapy after this. I hope his family was open to mental health healing back in 1990.
YOU GUYS, NOT SCARY NEIGHBOR CALLED HIS SON!
Do they still even make family movies this good?
Now for Home Alone 2!!!!