Sex workers accidentally create ex-sex worker SWERFs: a thread theory

Many are jaded by sex work, and feel a lot of hate and anger towards clients - and rightfully so. As we experience violence, being robbed, sexually assaulted, shamed, doxed etc..

We naturally seek our peers

For support, advice, mutual aid and to vent about our jobs. We do this because we can't talk to anyone else, and nobody else understands.

Yet, when it comes to bad experiences and being vocal about them, or our dislike for clients, we are sometimes told to shut up by each other

Ron Jeremy was a good example of this in porn, and I've experienced this a lot online and when speaking about street sex work. In fact, some people told me they were the reason they felt able to talk about the negatives of sex work - thank you!

We do this to deflect criticism

If we keep each other silenced, we can continue to project the idea that sex work is good, abuse doesn't happen and the rad fems can stop saying its abusive, nasty and awful things happen.

We fear talking about bad clients only fuels the Nordic Model supporters, so we say shhh

The lives and incomes of sex workers are often fragile, and the last thing we wanna do is rock the boat.

However this doesn't help the upset sex worker who has had a bad experience, perhaps hates sex work, or may describe it as feeling like rape at times.

Feeling unable to talk and dejected, they find solace in those they can vent to about it, and accept them for it and even encourage it. Before you know it, theyre being told your peers don't understand as they're too traumatised, and that instead, they will listen to you.

You are quickly lovebombed, supported and given the space you needed to vent, slag off clients and talk about things. You finally feel accepted, and have bonded with your new friends.

Soon, you're asked to stop this abuse of other women and asked to speak up publicly.

Youre offered no support, counselling or training to deal with rehashing this time and time again.

Whats worse is, each time you tell your ex peers about how you experienced sex work, they shout at you. They block you on Twitter, call you names, a traitor and whatever else.

You feel dejected, hurt, and you turn to those who accept you. They tell you that we are the mad ones who don't understand you, but they do. Suddenly you feel an outcast to your own community, and your former colleagues.

But what's happened?

Well we feared criticism so much and fuelling the abolitionists, we silenced and covered up the bad bits. But those bad bits didn't stop happening, and people didn't want to stop talking about it.

What you now end up with is a new radical feminist conference speaker.

They felt upset, misunderstood, rejected and were called nasty names by sex workers who didn't listen to how they felt, or how they experienced sex work. They call for the Nordic Model because they've been told its right, and just.

We shouted at them for this, and fuelled their feelings of being rejected, whilst they sought further solace.

That's it, you suppressed and pushed someone away so much they found comfort in the very people who lobby against you.

I used to be like this. I hate sex work, I hate clients, I hate working street. I spoke to my peers about it and we all agreed, but I found comfort in radical feminists because they were the only ones who agreed with me.

It felt nice to vent, and I found sex work twitter after a few years and even then, people were telling me to shut up, delete tweets or messaged to say it will fuel the abolos. Thankfully, I had found someone to vent to without judgement by then, and was pro decrim.

Talk about the bad shit, because it happens and we have every right to feel hurt, upset or full of rage.

If someone uses your experiences to fuel their agenda, that's wrong and at times, exploitative.

It is wrong to continue the facade that everything is fine and dandy to deflect. All it does is throw survivors under the bus, and completely shuts out voices considered 'less desirable' which only harms us more.

Anyway, that's my thoughts.