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People ask me this a lot, so for what it's worth: I don't think we should misgender cis people either.
Even to "show them how it feels" as a response to them intentionally misgendering us.
It will never hurt them the same way it hurts us & it just fuels their fire.
Even to "show them how it feels" as a response to them intentionally misgendering us.
It will never hurt them the same way it hurts us & it just fuels their fire.
Then it changes the topic from "misgendering people is bad" to "see, they're all hypocrites with double standards!"
I just don't think it achieves anything affective.
Also, I hold a personal standard of myself that I respect people's gender identities b/c I want mine respected.
I just don't think it achieves anything affective.
Also, I hold a personal standard of myself that I respect people's gender identities b/c I want mine respected.
Like, I'm not going to go out of my way to ask a trans person to stop misgendering a cis person like I would if the opposite were happening, because, again - it doesn't hurt them the way it hurts us. I'm not going to police how people deal with their own oppression.
But it's not something I personally will take part in, and if you're looking for my opinion - I don't think it's a beneficial response to transphobia.
Also, respecting people's gender identities is a basic act of respect for their humanity. Even if those identities are not ones they face oppression for. No, it's not the same and it doesn't hurt them in the same way... but it's basic respect for their existence.
That matters to me.
If I'm upset with someone, it's because they did something harmful and so I want to focus on the harmful action of concern... I want to address that.
I don't find it helpful to ever disrespect people's existence.
If I'm upset with someone, it's because they did something harmful and so I want to focus on the harmful action of concern... I want to address that.
I don't find it helpful to ever disrespect people's existence.
