At the start of 2020, I was trapped in an abusive relationship.

When COVID-19 forced lockdowns, I was one of the people who experienced more violence because of forced proximity to my abuser.

It finally gave me the perspective I needed to leave. https://link.medium.com/Noxqz0BrGbb 

I escaped with some minor physical scars & mental trauma. But I'm out. I'm safe, I haven't spoken to her in months.

Many haven't been so lucky. Intimate partner violence has surged during the COVID-19 pandemic & many are struggling to access resources. https://coronavirus.nautil.us/domestic-violence-statistics/

I am incredibly thankful for the support of my family and friends- and I am privileged because I've thus far been able to largely escape the disastrous impacts of COVID-19.

I'm contributing today to @wscadv in honor of that - yet many are not so lucky. https://wscadv.org/donate/ 

To get out, I had to make the decision to let her keep our puppy, because trying to hold onto him simply gave her another hold on me. I miss Peanut. He was a good dog.

I'm lucky we didn't have a child, or many assets together. Yet even so, it wasn't the 1st time I tried to leave

It took me almost a year from the first time she hit me to leave & not come back.

It took several years since the emotional abuse became apparent.

Intimate partner violence is widespread:
-1 in 4 women experience it
-1 in 10 men
-1 in 2 non-binary people.

You are not alone.

If you're struggling, if COVID has been hard for you because you're stuck with your abuser, if you're afraid of spending the holidays alone with them- I am here to talk.

If you need help finding resources, or just want to talk to someone who won't judge- my DMs are open.

It can happen to anyone. I'm 6'1" I weight 220 lbs. I used to play high school football, I can bench my body weight.

And I was abused. It is not your fault.

Men, if you've experienced abuse or not, I recommend watching @PhilosophyTube's vid on abuse.

(Thank you @alifwst for sharing it with me)

It meant a lot to me when I first watched it. It still means a lot to me today- it reminds me that I'm not alone. That I can talk about it.

Often, Men don't talk about it. They tough it out. And this is highly, highly unhealthy.

Writing this thread is hard. It's tough to think about. But it's important that people talk about IPV, and for me it's especially important to remind other men that they're not alone.

For about 7 months, I saw a therapist once a week. It took a lot of work to start to untangle.

Now, I'm going to therapy less often- but I encourage anyone who has experienced IPV and hasn't talked to a professional to do so. Men, don't think that you should tough it out- get a professional on your team.

I love you all. You can do this.

I'm still working through some of the trauma. I probably will be for a long time.

But life is getting better, even in the middle of a pandemic. I haven't felt this creative in years. I'm writing more. I'm safer. I'm happier.

You deserve to feel the same.

DMs are open.

Thank you to @NolanFawthrop & @Abel4Seattle for being there for me during this process, talking to me and supporting me.

I appreciate you both more than words can convey.