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Honestly, really really honestly and it takes a lot of courage to say this, I legitimately do not like my mother. No love, no affection both ways. We just co-exist. It& #39;s taken me all this time to fully understand that and I& #39;m 100% sure the feeling is mutual. It& #39;s too late for us
It& #39;s not that she hasn& #39;t provided or anything. Emotionally we& #39;re fully detached. Ya& #39;ll see that "mistake child" term inatupwatupwa hapa, yeah that& #39;s me. And I& #39;ve learnt how to cope and live with that reality. It honestly sucks btw you have no idea
I& #39;m just lucky It isn& #39;t affecting me as much btw. Some of ya& #39;ll are MUCH worse and you can& #39;t tell them the same. Parental trauma is real
I appreciate what she does as a PROVIDER but as a mom? Nothing. Zero. Nada. The worst part? I have 2 younger brothers and she dotes over them completely. In all honesty in this house I& #39;m the guy who does the chores na wa kupigiwa kelele. Someone told me I& #39;ve been desensitized...
To it and he was right man. Does it hurt? Yes. Especially seeing how some of you have loving moms who care and all. I& #39;m just thankful I have the willpower to somewhat handle it.
Most of my life we haven& #39;t had a father figure so I& #39;ve had to step up and do that as well, and do it with a brave face but no. The worst thing is I& #39;m actually scared to have kids because of her. I& #39;m honestly scared that this emotional detachment will be hereditary or something
Is it because I didn& #39;t do well in school? No in fact to be very honest I studied to pass because of her. I thought maybe academics would be the way but no. Ask her what my hobbies are and she& #39;ll be blank btw. She& #39;s never attended any basketball or soccer game I played in.
I& #39;ve accepted myself. And I blame myself for not doing much more, but for now I give up. Maybe something will happen in future but for now it& #39;s time I chin up, ignore and move on with my life
Please when you have children, treat them like children not like business investments.
