The MD top 30 household 'crimes' of our youth list.

In order.

Number 30.

Making a phone call before 6pm. Even if the house was on fire.

Number 29

Incurring a Blockbuster video fine.

Number 28

Leaving the fridge door open. Apparently, doing this for even a minute could bankrupt an average family of four.

Number 27

Putting the toilet roll on backwards. Caused our sister to hyperventilate

Number 26

Sneaking a chocolate from the second layer before the first was empty.

Number 25

Opening a packet of Quavers upside down.

"THAT CHILD IS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEED!!"

Number 24

Putting empty After Eight wrappers back in the box.

Number 23

Letting the coal fire go out.

A no-no.

During our profound acoustic/folk phase we once did this on purpose and wrote a song about it. A mistake. An even bigger mistake in telling our Ma why we'd done it.

Number 22

Leaving ANYTHING on your plate.

Biafra always came in to it.

Number 21

Forgetting to take your Da's pools coupon to the Pools Man. The following Saturday's Final score was always a particularly arse-clenching affair.

Number 20

Fishing for the cereal box toy.

Caused more fishing incidents than the Cod Wars

Number 19

Failing to adequately secure the working class shower hose.

Number 18

Running out of change for the meter.

Often electricity, sometimes, TV.

Number 17

Not crossing yourself after receiving the gift of the solid chocolate Kit Kat finger.

Number 16

Borrowing your older brothers Beatles records and leaving them next to the radiator

Number 15

Hanging your washing out badly. THE worst offence in our Ma's book. A serial killer neighbour would be looked upon admirably if they hung their washing out 'right'.

Number 14

Leaving lights on.

Number 13

Nibbling the chocolate of the Brazil nuts and leaving the nut in the tin. Disgraceful, but an artform .

Number 12

Leaving the door open.

People were obsessed with draughts in the seventies. We were somehow expected to come through a door without opening it. Or disturbing the snake draught excluder.

Number 11

Failing to be warmed by the comforting red bulb and putting a bar on. God forbid both.

Number 10

Binning the empty quality street tin.

Our Ma once left home for 3 days when we did this. Stayed with her Sister in North Wales. She loved those tins.

Number 9

Toilet etiquette transgressions.

To flush or not to flush? Toilet seat left up or to be put down? A nightmare for the young and inexperienced. Rules seemed to change weekly

Number 8

Touching the TV aerial.

Moving it an inch would lead to hours of frantic re-positioning and swearing about 'snowy' pictures.

Number 7

Not sitting in your Da's chair.

It's against the law.

Number 6

Bin related crimes.

Many and varied, culminating in the very worst - forgetting to put them out.

Number 5

Milk related crime

Getting the wrong sort, letting it go warm, not letting it get too cold for the tea, bringing it in before the birds peck it, or it freezes, some rule about the f*cking cream on the top (shake nor not to shake?) spilling it and making the house smell

Number 4

Forgetting to put the immersion on.

Everybody sat miserably waiting for a bath, desperate to get out on a Saturday night.

"STOP TESTING IT! IT'LL NEVER GET HOT"

Number 3

Twin-tub trauma.

Forgetting to put the drain pipe in the sink. Personal experience of this . With spectacularly bad results

Number 2

Forgetting to turn the immersion off.

Therapy inducing stuff.

How could there possibly be a worse home related 'crime' than this?

Well....

****Number 1****

Tissues left in pockets on a black wash.

The ultimate crime.

More upsetting to our Ma than the Kennedy assassination.

Dear God, the language.....

Cheers all. Thanks for the love and contributions