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The MD top 30 household 'crimes' of our youth list.
In order.
Number 30.
Making a phone call before 6pm. Even if the house was on fire.
In order.
Number 30.
Making a phone call before 6pm. Even if the house was on fire.
Number 29
Incurring a Blockbuster video fine.
Incurring a Blockbuster video fine.
Number 28
Leaving the fridge door open. Apparently, doing this for even a minute could bankrupt an average family of four.
Leaving the fridge door open. Apparently, doing this for even a minute could bankrupt an average family of four.
Number 27
Putting the toilet roll on backwards. Caused our sister to hyperventilate
Putting the toilet roll on backwards. Caused our sister to hyperventilate
Number 26
Sneaking a chocolate from the second layer before the first was empty.
Sneaking a chocolate from the second layer before the first was empty.
Number 25
Opening a packet of Quavers upside down.
"THAT CHILD IS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEED!!"
Opening a packet of Quavers upside down.
"THAT CHILD IS NOT RIGHT IN THE HEED!!"
Number 24
Putting empty After Eight wrappers back in the box.
Putting empty After Eight wrappers back in the box.
Number 23
Letting the coal fire go out.
A no-no.
During our profound acoustic/folk phase we once did this on purpose and wrote a song about it. A mistake. An even bigger mistake in telling our Ma why we'd done it.
Letting the coal fire go out.
A no-no.
During our profound acoustic/folk phase we once did this on purpose and wrote a song about it. A mistake. An even bigger mistake in telling our Ma why we'd done it.
Number 22
Leaving ANYTHING on your plate.
Biafra always came in to it.
Leaving ANYTHING on your plate.
Biafra always came in to it.
Number 21
Forgetting to take your Da's pools coupon to the Pools Man. The following Saturday's Final score was always a particularly arse-clenching affair.
Forgetting to take your Da's pools coupon to the Pools Man. The following Saturday's Final score was always a particularly arse-clenching affair.
Number 20
Fishing for the cereal box toy.
Caused more fishing incidents than the Cod Wars
Fishing for the cereal box toy.
Caused more fishing incidents than the Cod Wars
Number 19
Failing to adequately secure the working class shower hose.
Failing to adequately secure the working class shower hose.
Number 18
Running out of change for the meter.
Often electricity, sometimes, TV.
Running out of change for the meter.
Often electricity, sometimes, TV.
Number 17
Not crossing yourself after receiving the gift of the solid chocolate Kit Kat finger.
Not crossing yourself after receiving the gift of the solid chocolate Kit Kat finger.
Number 16
Borrowing your older brothers Beatles records and leaving them next to the radiator
Borrowing your older brothers Beatles records and leaving them next to the radiator
Number 15
Hanging your washing out badly. THE worst offence in our Ma's book. A serial killer neighbour would be looked upon admirably if they hung their washing out 'right'.
Hanging your washing out badly. THE worst offence in our Ma's book. A serial killer neighbour would be looked upon admirably if they hung their washing out 'right'.
Number 14
Leaving lights on.
Leaving lights on.
Number 13
Nibbling the chocolate of the Brazil nuts and leaving the nut in the tin. Disgraceful, but an artform .
Nibbling the chocolate of the Brazil nuts and leaving the nut in the tin. Disgraceful, but an artform .
Number 12
Leaving the door open.
People were obsessed with draughts in the seventies. We were somehow expected to come through a door without opening it. Or disturbing the snake draught excluder.
Leaving the door open.
People were obsessed with draughts in the seventies. We were somehow expected to come through a door without opening it. Or disturbing the snake draught excluder.
Number 11
Failing to be warmed by the comforting red bulb and putting a bar on. God forbid both.
Failing to be warmed by the comforting red bulb and putting a bar on. God forbid both.
Number 10
Binning the empty quality street tin.
Our Ma once left home for 3 days when we did this. Stayed with her Sister in North Wales. She loved those tins.
Binning the empty quality street tin.
Our Ma once left home for 3 days when we did this. Stayed with her Sister in North Wales. She loved those tins.
Number 9
Toilet etiquette transgressions.
To flush or not to flush? Toilet seat left up or to be put down? A nightmare for the young and inexperienced. Rules seemed to change weekly
Toilet etiquette transgressions.
To flush or not to flush? Toilet seat left up or to be put down? A nightmare for the young and inexperienced. Rules seemed to change weekly
Number 8
Touching the TV aerial.
Moving it an inch would lead to hours of frantic re-positioning and swearing about 'snowy' pictures.
Touching the TV aerial.
Moving it an inch would lead to hours of frantic re-positioning and swearing about 'snowy' pictures.
Number 7
Not sitting in your Da's chair.
It's against the law.
Not sitting in your Da's chair.
It's against the law.
Number 6
Bin related crimes.
Many and varied, culminating in the very worst - forgetting to put them out.
Bin related crimes.
Many and varied, culminating in the very worst - forgetting to put them out.
Number 5
Milk related crime
Getting the wrong sort, letting it go warm, not letting it get too cold for the tea, bringing it in before the birds peck it, or it freezes, some rule about the f*cking cream on the top (shake nor not to shake?) spilling it and making the house smell
Milk related crime
Getting the wrong sort, letting it go warm, not letting it get too cold for the tea, bringing it in before the birds peck it, or it freezes, some rule about the f*cking cream on the top (shake nor not to shake?) spilling it and making the house smell
Number 4
Forgetting to put the immersion on.
Everybody sat miserably waiting for a bath, desperate to get out on a Saturday night.
"STOP TESTING IT! IT'LL NEVER GET HOT"
Forgetting to put the immersion on.
Everybody sat miserably waiting for a bath, desperate to get out on a Saturday night.
"STOP TESTING IT! IT'LL NEVER GET HOT"
Number 3
Twin-tub trauma.
Forgetting to put the drain pipe in the sink. Personal experience of this . With spectacularly bad results
Twin-tub trauma.
Forgetting to put the drain pipe in the sink. Personal experience of this . With spectacularly bad results
Number 2
Forgetting to turn the immersion off.
Therapy inducing stuff.
How could there possibly be a worse home related 'crime' than this?
Well....
Forgetting to turn the immersion off.
Therapy inducing stuff.
How could there possibly be a worse home related 'crime' than this?
Well....
****Number 1****
Tissues left in pockets on a black wash.
The ultimate crime.
More upsetting to our Ma than the Kennedy assassination.
Dear God, the language.....
Tissues left in pockets on a black wash.
The ultimate crime.
More upsetting to our Ma than the Kennedy assassination.
Dear God, the language.....
Cheers all. Thanks for the love and contributions 
