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One common source of anxiety is isolationism. This isn& #39;t the moment a leader stands alone, it is when a leader must FEEL alone in order to move to self pity.
It is & #39;no one knows the troubles I& #39;ve seen& #39; and & #39;no one knows what it is like to be me.& #39;
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It is & #39;no one knows the troubles I& #39;ve seen& #39; and & #39;no one knows what it is like to be me.& #39;
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I move into isolationism when I feel defeated, unproductive or when I have taken on too many things. I move from excited to self pity pretty quick. & #39;If only everyone knew how hard it is to be me!& #39;
Even though, as often as not, I got myself into this pickle.
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Even though, as often as not, I got myself into this pickle.
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Maybe you know someone who struggles with this. They are in the group, they tunnel far away and then pop up and say & #39;where is everyone.& #39;
I see this in some folks in my church. & #39;No one loves me, no one cares.& #39; Even though, objectively, many people do.
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I see this in some folks in my church. & #39;No one loves me, no one cares.& #39; Even though, objectively, many people do.
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I remember one extreme case - a person who chronically displays isolationism. He turned down 4 invitations to Thanksgiving so he could post on social media that he is having another Thanksgiving alone.
Isolationism is insidious and it is evidence we are in anxiety& #39;s grip.
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Isolationism is insidious and it is evidence we are in anxiety& #39;s grip.
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Isolationism is a sophisticated form of self righteousness.
Anytime we are self righteous, we are anxious.
We work so hard to prove that we are alone when in fact we are not.
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Anytime we are self righteous, we are anxious.
We work so hard to prove that we are alone when in fact we are not.
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The most famous case is Elijah in 1 Kings. After battling Ahab (and outrunning him using modern aerodynamic techniques!), Elijah self isolates, moves to self pity and says, & #39;where is everyone? No one gets it.& #39;
God steps in and gently sets the record straight.
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God steps in and gently sets the record straight.
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First, God feeds Elijah. God has compassion on those who are so trapped in their anxiety they have lost touch with reality. Food first, and good questions.
& #39;What are you doing here, Elijah?& #39;
and then:
& #39;You are not alone. There are thousands.....also Elisha....& #39;
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& #39;What are you doing here, Elijah?& #39;
and then:
& #39;You are not alone. There are thousands.....also Elisha....& #39;
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But when you are trapped in self pity, you don& #39;t want the truth - that others get it, that others have gone through it, that God is with you.
You want to feel alone in order to feel self pity.
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You want to feel alone in order to feel self pity.
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So, leaders: if you are battling isolationism, I invite you to believe the Good News: God has others who know and you can reach out to them for help and most importantly allow them to serve and help you.
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It is ok to be an exactly human sized leader.
That is all God has ever asked.
Exactly. Human. Sized.
You don& #39;t need unlimited capacity. You can be at your breaking point, overwhelmed.
But call out for help, please and let people who care about you care for you.
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That is all God has ever asked.
Exactly. Human. Sized.
You don& #39;t need unlimited capacity. You can be at your breaking point, overwhelmed.
But call out for help, please and let people who care about you care for you.
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But also, beware the chronic isolationist. Care for them, invite them, welcome them, but be careful to not get in the trap of & #39;proving& #39; to them that they are loved. They have a vested interest in ignoring your efforts.
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Until they can see this sick cycle, you will exhaust yourself trying to show them you care. Beware especially the new church visitor who says, & #39;the last church didn& #39;t care.& #39;
It might be true. It might be that they cared a great deal but the person kept the teflon on.
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It might be true. It might be that they cared a great deal but the person kept the teflon on.
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Isolationism. The need to feel alone in order to stand on self instead of falling into Christ.
Insidious. Common.
But the Good News is so much better.
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Insidious. Common.
But the Good News is so much better.
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