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FPL STATS OF SHITHOUSERY ππππ πππ‘π
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GW IX
The Filth and the Fury
Let's dive in. Try not to get your feet dirty.
ππππ ππ πππ ππππ
GW IX
The Filth and the Fury
Let's dive in. Try not to get your feet dirty.
Ederson β 6m β MCI
Two shots on target, both through his legs. Whilst there was an element of misfortune about this, on both occasions the City stopper didnβt time his rush well enough and was punished.
Two shots on target, both through his legs. Whilst there was an element of misfortune about this, on both occasions the City stopper didnβt time his rush well enough and was punished.
Aina β 4.5m β FUL
The Fulham fullback had the sort of game which teenagers are grounded for. He was involved throughout, as Everton tore apart the Fulham right flank like hungry wolves to a lost forest child.
Bit dark? You should have seen this twat play. Donβt come judging me
The Fulham fullback had the sort of game which teenagers are grounded for. He was involved throughout, as Everton tore apart the Fulham right flank like hungry wolves to a lost forest child.
Bit dark? You should have seen this twat play. Donβt come judging me
Evans β 5.5 β LEI
Scored one own goal, could have had two. Generally marshaled his defence with the nous of a 14-year-old joy rider. Desperate from Leicester, who came up against a Liverpool team so riddled with injuries they playedβ¦ check notesβ¦ an entirely senior int XI
Scored one own goal, could have had two. Generally marshaled his defence with the nous of a 14-year-old joy rider. Desperate from Leicester, who came up against a Liverpool team so riddled with injuries they played⦠check notes⦠an entirely senior int XI
Lascelles β 4.4 β NEW
Allegedly the captain of Newcastle United, Jamal Lascelles is now about as useful as Asdaβs own cornflakes when threatened with the merest drop of milk.
The entire Toon defence now just wilts gently on the sight of an oncoming attack.
Allegedly the captain of Newcastle United, Jamal Lascelles is now about as useful as Asdaβs own cornflakes when threatened with the merest drop of milk.
The entire Toon defence now just wilts gently on the sight of an oncoming attack.
Pepe β 7.6 β ARS
80. Million. Euros. That may be small change to βpeopleβs billionaireβ Rishi Sunak, but for Arsenal football clubβ¦ thatβs a lot of cash.
For what? A sub rate Emmanuel Eboue who head-butts people?
Get the fuck out of here
80. Million. Euros. That may be small change to βpeopleβs billionaireβ Rishi Sunak, but for Arsenal football clubβ¦ thatβs a lot of cash.
For what? A sub rate Emmanuel Eboue who head-butts people?
Get the fuck out of here
Mahrez β 8.2 β MCI
Essentially just essence of excrement at this stage. Mahrez was given yet another game to play himself into form by God of Football Pep Guardiola.
He didnβt. He kept running I suppose. But for me, thatβs probably not enough for over 10m a year.
Essentially just essence of excrement at this stage. Mahrez was given yet another game to play himself into form by God of Football Pep Guardiola.
He didnβt. He kept running I suppose. But for me, thatβs probably not enough for over 10m a year.
Barkley β 6.0 β AVL
But his stats...
But his stats...
Podence β 5.4 β WOL
Podence has now started every game this season for just a single goal. He boasts a conversion rate of just 7% and only creates a chance every 66 minutes.
He might well be βlivelyβ β but he has the end product of fucking kitten mittens.
Podence has now started every game this season for just a single goal. He boasts a conversion rate of just 7% and only creates a chance every 66 minutes.
He might well be βlivelyβ β but he has the end product of fucking kitten mittens.
Cavaleiro β 5.3 β FUL
Standing in for Mitro up front, the Portuguese winger was every bit as useless as the regular Fulham number 9. He had shots in the box, shots out the box, shots blocked, shots saved and then a whoops there it goes penalty to complete his misery. Dreadful.
Standing in for Mitro up front, the Portuguese winger was every bit as useless as the regular Fulham number 9. He had shots in the box, shots out the box, shots blocked, shots saved and then a whoops there it goes penalty to complete his misery. Dreadful.
Ayew β 5.7 β CRY
One of those players where when he looks bad, he looks like the inside of a gone off, maggot attacked pumpkin bad.
This was a nightmare showing. He wandered around aimlessly before being taken off for Benteke.
Which is essentially footballing euthaniser.
One of those players where when he looks bad, he looks like the inside of a gone off, maggot attacked pumpkin bad.
This was a nightmare showing. He wandered around aimlessly before being taken off for Benteke.
Which is essentially footballing euthaniser.
Martial β 8.7 β MUN
Itβs 5 matches now for Martial and he still has more red cards than goals. Indeed, he hasnβt scored from open play in any game this season and never looked likely to here.
He has an xG of 0.75.
Thatβs worse than Luke Ayling and Stuart Dallas.
Itβs 5 matches now for Martial and he still has more red cards than goals. Indeed, he hasnβt scored from open play in any game this season and never looked likely to here.
He has an xG of 0.75.
Thatβs worse than Luke Ayling and Stuart Dallas.
Worse than Luke Ayling and Stuart Dallas?
What the actual fuck?
Let's see how else is ahead of him...
Jordan Henderson
Ashley Barnes
James Tarkowski
Leander Dendoncker
Adam Webster
Andy Robertson
Sander Berge
Christian Benteke OH COME ON TONY FOR FUCKS SAKE
HM.
What the actual fuck?
Let's see how else is ahead of him...
Jordan Henderson
Ashley Barnes
James Tarkowski
Leander Dendoncker
Adam Webster
Andy Robertson
Sander Berge
Christian Benteke OH COME ON TONY FOR FUCKS SAKE
HM.
