I'm about to chop some potatoes for my dinner, and there's one itty bitty potato that is too precious. I don't think I can bring myself to eat it. I want to name it Jeremy. I want to keep Jeremy safe and show it the world.

I don't think I can do it, although now I feel really weird about adopting a potato son after having just made him watch me dice his whole family

Of course, I suppose his ability to witness that and be shown the world have been dramatically diminished by me ripping off his eyes 20 minutes ago.