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I'm tired of seeing this debate about the merits of Wellington so I thought I'd lay down some cool facts about the city.
Fact 1: The bucket fountain started off as a cup fountain until funding increases allowed for an expansion.
Fact 1: The bucket fountain started off as a cup fountain until funding increases allowed for an expansion.
Fact 2: A very large sum of cash was offered to the WCC to rename it 'Johnson & Johnsonville' but was rescinded when representatives of the company actually visited Johnsonville.
Fact 3: Mittens is a dog.
Fact 4: The bricks along the Golden Mile are currently being studied by MIT hoping to discover the secret to their frictionless properties.
Fact 5: The eagles hanging in Wellington Airport are made from imported eagles feathers, as well as actual eagles taped together.
Fact 6: The unique design of the Beehive is because they were originally hoping to have each level able to revolve independently of each other.
Fact 7: It's pronounced 'Lamb-din Key'.
Fact 8: Wellington houses only qualify as heritage buildings if they were once occupied by someone who wore linen pants.
Fact 9: Aro Video has a secret sex-tape room and are still taking donations.
Fact 10: Devon Street was built to bypass the original Devon Street, which still has a bus stuck on it to this day.
Fact 11: Andy Foster escaped from a government programme to improve social wellbeing by cloning Jason Gunn.
Fact 12: The fountain in Oriental Bay is named the Carter Fountain after Clarence Carter, the American blues and soul singer who wrote the 80s smash hit 'Strokin'
Fact 13: Every street in Wellington qualifies as a research-grade wind tunnel.
Fact 14: If you buy a house for under RV in Wellington Kerry Prendergast is allowed to take a finger as 'blood price'.
Fact 15: Mittens is a possum.
Fact 16: When they're in town, Flight of the Conchords members Brett and Jemaine patrol the streets on their bikes hitting litterers with guitar wires.
Fact 17: The WCC is intentionally allowing sewerage to leak into the harbour in the hopes of attracting the fabled Poowhale.
Fact 18. Te Papa has the highest coloured lights to fossil ratio in the OECD.
Fact 19: There was once a 'Middle Hutt' but it sunk beneath the waves in the great earthquake of '63.
Fact 20: Tawa is actually part of Wellington City.
Fact 21: After a particularly bloody winter there was a surge in the market for umbrella-proof vests. This did not reduce the number of eye injuries.
Fact 22: Wellington was beaten on three consecutive good days. These have been stricken from the record.
Fact 23: They're called the Wellington Phoenix because the one time they were on fire is probably a myth.
Fact 24: The Cable Car showcases some of Wellington's most prestigious concrete.
Fact 25: Karori waste water has a higher cocaine content than any other suburb.
Fact 26: The Karori fog is mostly cocaine.
Fact 27: When you first move to Wellington you are assigned a person who you will never meet but will keep passing on the street, leaving you to constantly wonder where you know them from.
Fact 28: The TSB Showplace is legally part of Taranaki.
Fact 29: Celebrities visiting the city are warned not to make too big of a deal about seeing a Wellingtonian in person.
Fact 30: The Zealandia ecosanctuary has a hotline for people to complain about Kaka.
Fact 31: Mittens is another escapee from the programme to clone Jason Gunn.
Fact 31: Physicists made a breakthrough in string theory when they discovered a Mojo Cafe that was simultaneously inside and outside of another Mojo Cafe.
Fact 32: Wellington Zoo still has elephants but thanks to some Weta Workshop magic we see them as meerkats.
Fact 33: In the event of a catastrophe the Miramar Peninsula will detach from the mainland in order to preserve some of our most ancient opinions.
Fact 34: The vibrations from cars honking in the Mt Vic Tunnel are the only things preventing the water pipes of the city from permanently clogging.
Fact 35: Mt Victoria is named after the tunnel.
Fact 36: Te Papa's original slogan was, 'Te Papa: Where else can you take your kids that's indoors?'
Fact 37: It's called the Smart Motorway because it's smarter than you. It's designers later went on to found The Opportunities Party.
Fact 38: The Victoria University logo is actually made up of hundreds of tiny 'Wellington's.
Fact 39: Journalists in Wellington are considered foreign correspondents.
Fact 40: You're not horny in Wellington you're just undercaffeinated.
Fact 41: Meteorologists call Wellington rain 'Bishop Precipitation' because it only moves on a diagonal.
Fact 42: While most Wellingtonians were extras for Lord of the Rings, only one was an extra for The Hobbit. They just duplicated that one person thousands of times through Weta Workshop magic.
Fact 43: The National Library has a register of witty craft beer names to prevent embarrassing double-ups.
