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The Angry Orange Man and the Nasty, Mean Concession 
The angry orange man was meant to do a concession, but he did not want to do a concession, because they are very, very bad. They are mean.
A concession means you are a loser, and the angry orange man is NOT A LOSER.
The angry orange man was meant to do a concession, but he did not want to do a concession, because they are very, very bad. They are mean.
A concession means you are a loser, and the angry orange man is NOT A LOSER.
Oh wait...
*checks notes*
The angry orange man IS a loser, in all senses of the word. He lost! Sad!!
The angry orange man lost the competition with all the numbers to the nice smiley man, and this made the angry orange man have many sads.
*checks notes*
The angry orange man IS a loser, in all senses of the word. He lost! Sad!!
The angry orange man lost the competition with all the numbers to the nice smiley man, and this made the angry orange man have many sads.
One of the biggest sads was about the concession, because that is the part where you must say, “I did not win. Good luck, nice smiley man.”
The angry orange man finds this very hard to say. Do you know why?
Because the angry orange man is pathologically insecure.
The angry orange man finds this very hard to say. Do you know why?
Because the angry orange man is pathologically insecure.
He does not like himself. And do you know why? No, it’s not just because his skin is so orange and he’s a raving, racist lunatic. It’s because his father never liked him much.
Usually that is a very sad thing, but for the angry orange man I have run out of sads.
Usually that is a very sad thing, but for the angry orange man I have run out of sads.
When he was the angry orange boy he was not hugged a lot, even though he was less orange. He always had to try very hard to impress his father and NEVER show any weaknesses like love or feelings or sads.
But it didn’t work. The angry orange man’s father was as mean as he is now.
But it didn’t work. The angry orange man’s father was as mean as he is now.
This means that if he admits he did not win the special numbers game, he will suffer a sad inside his ego.
His ego is very, very important. It is all he has to make him feel better on long lonely nights when his scowly wife says, “Oh Don, you’ve got to be joking, not tonight.”
His ego is very, very important. It is all he has to make him feel better on long lonely nights when his scowly wife says, “Oh Don, you’ve got to be joking, not tonight.”
She can be mean like that. But she does have nice legs.
So anyway, it took many, many days for the angry orange man to do a concession, and when he did he also pretended it was not a concession because his ego was sad.
We were confused, and national security was compromised.
So anyway, it took many, many days for the angry orange man to do a concession, and when he did he also pretended it was not a concession because his ego was sad.
We were confused, and national security was compromised.
Everyone said, “Why the fuck won’t he concede?” and “You lost, loser,” and “Mitch McConnell has a lot to answer for”.
Mitch McConnell is what we sometimes call the jowly turtle man. It is his job to keep the angry orange man under control.
But he does not like this job.
Mitch McConnell is what we sometimes call the jowly turtle man. It is his job to keep the angry orange man under control.
But he does not like this job.
The jowly turtle man only likes himself, so he only does jowly turtle man things that keep him in office. The people of Kentucky do not want Merrick Garland so the jowly turtle man told lies about SCOTUS nominations in an election year.
Goodness me! It’s a lot like a corruption!
Goodness me! It’s a lot like a corruption!
It’s so much like a corruption it’s quite corrupt.
Anyway, the jowly turtle man pretended he didn’t notice that the angry orange man didn’t do a concession.
Some of his friends did, however.
Anyway, the jowly turtle man pretended he didn’t notice that the angry orange man didn’t do a concession.
Some of his friends did, however.
Some of his friends got a “self-interest”. They realised the angry orange man really did lose the special numbers game, and that the nice smiley man is coming.
So they figured they’d better be nice to the nice smiley man.
Most of them never really liked the angry orange man.
So they figured they’d better be nice to the nice smiley man.
Most of them never really liked the angry orange man.
They were only pretending to like the angry orange man because they had a self-interest.
The angry orange man is fairly powerful, so it was always more important to keep him happy than worry about silly things like “morality” or “ethics” or “precedent”.
They were scared. Sad!
The angry orange man is fairly powerful, so it was always more important to keep him happy than worry about silly things like “morality” or “ethics” or “precedent”.
They were scared. Sad!
But now they’re not so scared so some of them wrote down that they support the nice smiley man winning the special numbers game.
Somebody must have shown the angry orange man because he suddenly did a concession.
We all had a “schadenfreude”.
Somebody must have shown the angry orange man because he suddenly did a concession.
We all had a “schadenfreude”.
A schadenfreude is when you’re happy about someone else’s sad. It doesn’t really count with the angry orange man though, because he is so narcissistic he’s almost subhuman.
So we had many schadenfreudes because this was the biggest sad of them all – LOSING.
The end.
So we had many schadenfreudes because this was the biggest sad of them all – LOSING.
The end.
DISCLAIMER: The angry orange man does not endorse this message. The nice smiley man thinks it’s cool. I hope you do too.
© Angry Orange Man Media 2020
© Angry Orange Man Media 2020
Some of my other angry orange man threads... https://twitter.com/elle_desylva/status/1327929529684221952
... and the original in all its stream of consciousness glory. https://twitter.com/elle_desylva/status/1324950875891093504
