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i wonder what would have happened if he whispered, “Vlad,” softly, like he’s scared the name would break anything it’d touch. so he says it low, just under his tongue, but still somehow strong enough that it reaches the leaving boy.
and he doesn’t mean it, he stops himself— https://twitter.com/gspbot/status/1331028788365332481
and he doesn’t mean it, he stops himself— https://twitter.com/gspbot/status/1331028788365332481
but he’s leaving and he can’t just stand there. he’s been standing for way too long.
and Vlad hears it and he, at last, looks back and there’s the boy he loves, tears in his eyes—he’s just about to drop his bags and scoop him up, but Ate Judit speaks,
“Ano?”
and Vlad hears it and he, at last, looks back and there’s the boy he loves, tears in his eyes—he’s just about to drop his bags and scoop him up, but Ate Judit speaks,
“Ano?”
and Karl is looking at her and thinking, “Oo nga. Ano? Ano, Karl? Sagot!” but he doesn’t know either. ang alam niya lang ay kailangan niyang banggitin ang pangalan ni Vlad. it may be his last time to do so.
Karl looks at Vlad again and the hopeful expression he had earlier
Karl looks at Vlad again and the hopeful expression he had earlier
when he turned around was replaced with an expecting gaze. Karl felt his world turning upside down, he felt like vomiting.
Karl wants to pull his hair out—bakit ba kasi si Ate Judit ang sumagot? si Vlad ang tinatawag niya! si Vlad.
and he almost didn’t catch it,
Karl wants to pull his hair out—bakit ba kasi si Ate Judit ang sumagot? si Vlad ang tinatawag niya! si Vlad.
and he almost didn’t catch it,
Karl doesn’t know if he’s grateful he saw how Vlad lips moved and echoed the question his sister asked,
“Ano?” softly, like he’s scared the question would break anything it’d touch. he says it low, just under his tongue,
“Ano?” softly, like he’s scared the question would break anything it’d touch. he says it low, just under his tongue,
but still somehow strong enough that it reaches the boy being left behind at the unit.
and Karl opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again. wala siyang maisip. hindi niya masabi. he just wants to reach for him and make him feel that he wants him to stay.
and Karl opens his mouth to say something, but closes it again. wala siyang maisip. hindi niya masabi. he just wants to reach for him and make him feel that he wants him to stay.
pero ‘di niya din magawa, tulad ng labing nakakandado ay nakapako din ang paa sa isang sulok ng kusina.
he shakes his head and vlad nods in finality. Ate Judit watches and almost feels bad she was the one who answered. almost.
he shakes his head and vlad nods in finality. Ate Judit watches and almost feels bad she was the one who answered. almost.
Vlad turns towards the doors again, ready to leave, but not ready to forget. he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be ready to.
he walks past his slippers and walks out the door, wanting nothing more than just to turn back and stay.
but he knows he can’t.
he walks past his slippers and walks out the door, wanting nothing more than just to turn back and stay.
but he knows he can’t.
Karl is left alone in this big unit that used to feel so small. he stares at his hands and wonders what the hell happened. weren’t they just happy this morning?
he lets his body slide down the corner of the kitchen, his knees finally giving out.
he lets his body slide down the corner of the kitchen, his knees finally giving out.
and he tries so hard not to think about a possibility of him calling Vlad again someday and Vlad looking back and staying.
he tries not to. he tries.
he tries not to. he tries.
