tw // car accident , near death experience , trauma mention

two years ago i decided going to walmart to get pizza rolls was a good idea cause i was in a bad headspace and wanted to go for a drive, i was relistening to the adventure zone balance, the eleventh hour arc, episode https://twitter.com/zeeleafs/status/1330751733031694338

42 if memory serves, it was the midroll when i got to the turn in at walmart, i didn’t normally turn in this way but i had already went past the first turn in so i figured “oh well” and it was traffic hour (6 pm) so there was a lot of cars coming past while i was in the turn lane

a truck was trying to pull out of walmart so they needed me out of the turning lane and kept motioning for me to go, now at this point i’m a relatively new driver so i get nervous when it’s high traffic, the truck pulling out of walmart is making me really nervous so i’m watching

it, finally it gets to a point where there is no traffic coming so i start to pull out forgetting to double check one last time when a car that is speeding pulls out of a road next to the turn in and hits me head on, my car then spins around five times, i felt like i was

moving in slow motion and the only thing i could think of in that moment was oh my god i’m going to die and leave all of my friends behind, my air bag never deploys, finally my car stops spinning and all i can see is smoke, nothing else just the smoke coming out of my hood

i turn my car off, i’m in the middle of the road. the adventure zone still playing, i can’t hear the words they were saying i just know the mid roll had just ended. i call my mom. i get out of my car and the witness (the truck that was pulling out of walmart) starts yelling at me

while i’m sobbing, the people i hi wouldn’t look at me but their car was significantly better off then mine and they were in a ditch. long story short my car got towed away, i spoke to the cops, my parents came, i went home crying, my back was in a fiery pain. but i didn’t tell

anyone that. i felt like i deserved it. my back to this day still hurts like hell and i can no longer get behind the wheel without the entire scene playing out in my head. if i had breasted on my breaks, if i had moved my steering wheel, i’d i had done anything even slightly

different, i could have flipped my car and i’d probably no longer be here. that shit keeps me up at night. long story short, i’m lucky no one but my pride and car got hurt. but please for the love of fuck pay attention when you’re driving. look twice. don’t make my mistake

i would give anything for that to have never happened. i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to bring myself to drive again