In @billmaher's "New Rules" segment last week, he drew a compelling comparison between Donald Trump and NXIVM leader Keith Raniere:

Let's talk about it, because I can't stay in my own head with this one anymore.

A thread

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After watching this last night, I literally couldn't sleep bc I kept trying to answer this question: How are people w/ symptoms of personality disorders*, which are typically crippling interpersonally, sometimes able to attract a loyally committed (cult/cult-like) following?
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*I say "symptoms of personality disorders" bc no psychologist can diagnose someone they have not evaluated. But it's safe to say that both Trump & Raniere have many shared symptoms from the Antisocial, Narcissistic & Borderline Personality Disorder diagnostic categories
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I want to also acknowledge that traumatic childhood events often precede personality disorders (PDs). They are real disorders that aren't a choice and need to be treated, but this does not give anyone a license to abuse a person, a group of people or an entire country.
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If there's something I learned from watching @HBO's The Vow, it is that very bright & well-adjusted people can still fall victim to fully trusting & committing to someone w/an untreated mental illness that causes them to control, manipulate & abuse people. I want to know why.
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I'm thinking that for someone to become a follower, 3 conditions must be met:1) They have to trust them; 2) They have to adore them/strive to be them; and 3) They have to be manipulated by them. Traits from the 3 aforementioned PDs correspond to these. Let's break it down.
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1) They have to trust them: Antisocial PD Traits. According to the DSM-5, Antisocial PD is partly characterized by repeated lying and "conning others for personal profit or pleasure." They can also be very charming despite underlying difficulty with empathy and remorse.
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These traits allow them to paint a picture of themselves as someone who can be trusted. It allows them to tell a susceptible audience that they have something to offer that will make their lives better. These are lies, but the victim wants and needs the promises to be true.
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In the case of Trump, promising to be the voice of American workers, to cut taxes for the poor, to protect pre-existing conditions etc etc etc and in the case of Raniere, promising a path to be a better person and financial security. Nope. But it sounds good, doesn't it?
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2) They have to adore them/strive to be them: Narcissistic PD Traits. DSM-5 symptoms include "grandiose sense of self-importance", believes that they are "special and unique", "requires excessive admiration", "preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success."
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Imagine this scenario: you decide that you need something to make your life better & you've found a person who you trust will help you. That person tells you they are amazing, & you realize that if you follow/emulate that person, maybe things will get better for you.
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If you believe Trump is the world's best person/businessman & is only thinking about your best interests, you might buy a MAGA hat? If you believe that Raniere is a "Vanguard" & being your best means being more like him, you might go to extremes to try to get there?
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3) They have to be manipulated by them: Borderline PD traits. Individuals with BPD often have "a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationship characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation." This is a tricky one so stay with me.
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Because of the volatile nature of BPD, people who follow or are close to these individuals have the tendency to want to stay on their good side by "behaving" to avoid making the person upset. Thus, there's high susceptibility to gaslighting and falling into scapegoating.
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Have you ever felt like someone's narrative isn't true but question ur own sanity because they speak as though they are very certain it is? With BPD, reactions can be so angry & aggressive that you assume you must be in the wrong-Especially if you trust & admire the person.
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And if it isn't Trump or Raniere's fault, then it must be yours OR certainly someone else's. This is where scripts get completely flipped and whatever is true gets turned into a lie. Trust, admiration, and manipulation make it really tough to see the actual truth.
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Ex: Despite Trump being the main source of fake news, he convinces his followers that it's everyone else. When people considered leaving NXIVM, Raniere tried to turn everyone against them, and he pitted his sex slaves against each other to ensure that everyone would "behave"
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And I'm not even sure where this fits, but at a some point, I don't even think the person is aware they are telling lies or flipping scripts but it all seems to somehow transform into some kind of delusion that is protective bc if they don't believe it, how will the others?
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The loyalty & praise feel very good for people w/ PDs bc they reduce the distress experienced from deep insecurity. Anyone who makes that feel better is in, anyone who makes it worse is out (fired). Then, powerful people who are the most loyal help keep the narrative going.
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The result: a perfect storm of leader PD traits & amassing a strong following--Trump, wielding power to further oppress already historically oppressed populations & Raniere leading a sex trafficking cult & inflicting trauma on countless people. So what do we do?
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1) Protections should be in place to make sure that future candidates are screened for severe mental illness. I'm not saying that people w/ PDs cannot lead, but I am saying that we have to make sure that candidates have been treated before being put in a leadership position.
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2) We need to have more empathy for people who fall victim to these harmful leaders. This one is easy for me w/NXIVM survivors but harder for me w/Trump supporters. Still, I wonder if finding an angle for empathy may lead to a more effective way to get through to them.
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3) Clinical psychologists like me and other professionals have to keep talking about PDs publicly to continue to reduce stigma. The general public needs a better shot at being able to recognize these traits in themselves and in others to protect the most vulnerable.
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Finally, Trump & Raniere are extreme examples but you might see these patterns or traits in your parent, your boss, or your sister's husband. I don't think this thread will help you resolve that pain💔, but it might help you recognize and understand it a little better❤️.
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