Ok going to share my thoughts on the finale in a condensed version here.

My heart is truly with Dean Winchester. He stole my heart many, many, many years ago. I have items in common with both Sam and Dean, but for me, I’ve always been a Dean girl. + #spnfamily

As a result, I hate seeing him hurt or in pain. Watching him die last night one final time gutted me. I have not cried this much since we decided not to have children last year. I realize now, it’s because I was/am mourning both losses.

+ Losing Dean Winchester hurts. My throat wants to close and my heart wants to jump out of my ribcage and find a safe space - any space, reality, or world where this is not true. I’m grown-ass, independent, professional card-carrying liberal woman. I am wrecked. #spnfamily

+ I want to be held and have my feelings validated. I was sitting on the couch holding myself and my You are Not Alone teddy bear (also Dean) as the episode aired. I held in screams; visceral screams of pain at watching the character who I love die.

+ I know fans are mad at how he died. Not even GOD could kill Dean Winchester, which is why it needed to be something ordinary. It could have been a car accident, heck even covid, but it could not be something Supernatural. #Supernatural

+ A vamp killed Dean by slamming him into fucking exposed rebarb and he bled out; it was a human death. Dean died in a fight. Deep down, we know that is what he would have wanted. #spnfamily

+ Sam and Dean as a unit would never have stopped fighting or hunting. There was no apple pie ending for them together. It was impossible given their love and devotion to one another. #spnfamily

+ The only way for either of them to have gotten a happy ending and gotten out of the life was for one of them to die. That person had to be Dean. Dean would have killed himself with guilt, alcohol, and remorse if he had been the lone survivor.

+ Dean's love for Sam, Cas, and everyone else lost along the way would have been too much for him and he would not have gotten out. It had to be Dean. #spnfamily

+ Now that’s not to say that Sam is callous, far from it. Sam knows that the only way to honor those who have fallen is to carry on and live life. As Sam shuts the lights of the bunker to go to Austin (love that BTW), we know he’s never coming back to the bunker.

+ There is no life there. There is nothing left for Sam there in that space. #SPNFinale #spnfamily

+ Sam honors Dean by living. Having a family and cherishing his one son, Dean. Sam broke the family cycle of hunting, which can be seen as an analogy for trauma. Sam broke the cycle of trauma. He did not impose generational trauma onto his son or force him into being a hunter.

+ Sweater wearing Sam was not a hunter. He was a grown man who used to hunt; who used to be cool, but is now a doting father. For this reason, I also dont believe that the brunette was Eileen. She was a hunter. Pairing Sam with a hunter partner would have kept him in the life.

+ Sam got out. He got a picket fence, family dinners, and helping his boy with homework. #spnfamily

+ Those we mourn are never truly gone or forgotten. We even got a beautiful heaven. As an atheist, this was the one time I really wanted to believe in Heaven. Dean deserves everything. He deserves paradise, whatever that means to him. #spnfamily

+ Would it have been lovely to see all the hunters come praise Dean and have a wake for him? Yes. Did he deserve it? Yes, that +more. But Dean was a simple man. A great man, but a simple one. #spnfamily

+ Dean died saving two brothers and releasing Sam from a life of sorrow. Then he got sent off like a hunter. #spnfamily

+ re: Bobby - Who else would have been able to convince Dean, stubborn Dean, that heaven was not a trap or a sterile environment? The only person I come up with is Bobby.

+ If Bobby was at peace and knew this place would heal, he would be the only one who could convince Dean that it would all be okay now and he could rest. Dean could do whatever made him happy. #spnfamily

+ You ask - What about Cas? Was it necessary for him to meet Dean on the other side? Not in that specific moment. Let us not get lost in thinking that Dean and Cas are not reunited. Dean deserved his moment of bliss; his ride into the sun in the original baby.

+ Dean earned whatever the fuck he wanted and if that’s what he first wanted until it was time to greet Sammy, well by golly he fucking deserved it. Dean never asked to save the world. He never asked to be a hero.

+ Yet, he was a hero, him and Sam were, which is why Fortuna gave them what they wanted. They are heroes in every sense of the word. #spnfamily

+ I have no doubt that Dean was reunited with all those he loved off-screen. We are not meant to see all the details of another person’s life, nor are we entitled to such intimacy. #spnfamily

+ I cried when they announced the end in 2019. I was sad, but not like this. Friends reached out to tell me saying “I wanted you to hear it from a friend that your favorite show is ending.” I did hear it from a friend: I heard it directly from Jared, Jensen, and Misha

+ Then I went & got a tattoo of the Men of Letters symbol on my forearm with a XV in it for the fifteen seasons. I was not anticipating the loss I’m feeling now. I’m not okay right now. I feel broken, tired, and lost. I love you, Dean. I love you, Sam. I love you, Cas. #spnfamily

+ I love Bobbie, Crowley, Jody, Donna, Charlie, Rowena, Amara, Billie, The Men of Letters, Benny, Gabriel, Kevin, so many characters, so many intertwined lives. Nothing can take away this love. Nothing. #spnfamily

+ Could the writers have done more? Sure, that can be said for just about anything. I dont blame them for this pain because this pain would have been here even if the finale had been for three or four hours. I’m grateful they gave us a beautiful ending. #spnfamily

+ The imagery and cinematography were stunning. If I wasn’t in love with British Columbia, I am now. I want to stand at that bridge one day. I want to feel shade from the tree they stood planning how to attack vampire mimes. I want to visit Dean’s heaven. #spnfamily

+ I turn to music when I’m hurting. Fall Out Boy reminds me that “The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize two out of three ain’t bad.” Getting most of what we want is a good place to be in. I wanted happiness for the boys.

+ I wanted rest for them. They went out with love and honor. I know the finale wasn’t perfect. I was never expecting perfection. I had no expectations. I had trepidation that they would kill them, which they did and it hurts, but I understand why.

+ I understand what was necessary to give them happiness. Dean is going to be so happy when Sam fills him in on his mundane non-hunter life. He is going to be so proud of the man Sam became. #spnfamily

+ In the end, they were not alone and neither are we. It hurts right now because we care. We give a shit about these characters and the men and women who portrayed them. That’s a beautiful thing. #spnfamily

+ I will never get in this deep with another show. I’ve loved and followed other shows, but nothing like this. This is a one-of-a-kind experience and once in a lifetime love. Thank you, #Supernatural . Thank you, Jared, Jensen, Misha. Thank you, everyone. #spnfamily