A thread of Thanksgivings I have spent alone, working, not with family, or with family but maybe I should’ve stayed home.

For reference, I am well and fine and suffered no deep psychological injury from any of these. (Maybe one but it’s actually an argument *to* stay home.)

In high school, I worked at the local 99 cent Carmike theaters (tweeted about the manager recently). Movies are open on Thanksgiving and Christmas! Everyone was required to do a shift on both days for fairness.

In college, I was across the country from my parents so flying gone didn’t make much sense because it was a full day of travel each way.

I spent the day alone, in my dorm room, eating rice from my roomie’s rice cooker, a single can of mushroom gravy, and vending machine snacks.

There was no streaming, so it was also me and whatever vhs tapes I had. For 4 days. No one was around, everything on campus was closed.

It was very lonely. I cried. I am also totally okay and it’s just a funny story now of an entry in my “worst thanksgivings” contest.

I did visit my aunt and uncle one year in college for Thanksgiving. We went to a giant multi room banquet hall for thanksgiving dinner. Hundreds of people working through a buffet line.

When I went back to school, I was really sick with a flu I’d picked up. Down a week.

One year, I spent the holiday with my bf’s family in Death Valley. We ate at a crummy diner, his parents were deep freeze chilly with me, and I had to share a hotel room with his mom and aunt, but was reluctantly allowed my own bed.

I missed that empty dorm room, y’all.

I’ve spent many thanksgivings on my own. And there was always a scramble to find some way to be with others. Because you’re supposed to be!

And often, it is nice. And fun and comforting!

But the pressure of it often makes the absence seem worse.

At least there’s Zoom.

Oh! And there was also the year my great aunt spent the whole dinner asking god to “bring me home”, insulting my grandmother’s cooking, and telling me to keep myself “clean” from boys.

That empty studio apartment of mine back in LA looked pretty sweet that day.

Being alone for a holiday you’re used to spending with family and friends (not everyone is, btw) is hard. But you’ll be okay. There are other ways to “be” with loved ones that are safe.

And if thanksgiving is already hard in a normal year, I’m sending love and comfort your way.

I’m not saying it won’t be hard or sad. I’m not telling you not to feel your feelings. I’m trying to present a perspective that thanksgiving isn’t always perfect under normal conditions. And we get through. Hang in there everyone. Stay home if you can. Esp because so many can’t.