A year and a half of living without my family has made me realize that if you can cook and hire a cleaning lady and have a few friends to meet up every weekend you don't actually need a family.

Some people have great families and honestly good for you but personally +

my family was only deadweight to me. I was constantly depressed and suicidal and riddled with anxiety as long as I stayed with them. Lately I have realised that they purposely tried to keep me like that.
I've had a difficult year since I left but honestly it's still much better +

than how I was when I had their "support". I make more than what my father would allow me to spend in a month. I have absolute control over myself and my life and the best part? I am never disappointing anyone because nobody has any expectations from me. +

It does suck when I get a byline and nobody is overtly excited about it and it sucks when after a long day I have to cook for myself but you know what doesn't suck? Not being on my toes constantly. Not feeling like I am under attack all the time. Not hiding my sexuality. +

I no longer wear conservative clothing because I am scared of my parents. I do it because I want to. I don't have to think twice before hosting someone who needs a place to crash. I am not sexually active out of choice. I can call anyone I want whenever I want. +

I eat when I want and I eat what I want. I can choose to do a master's or not do one and i can move cities if I wish and there's nothing stopping me except capitalism. I can put on lipstick without being slutshamed and do skincare without being bodyshamed. +

I finally feel close to being comfortable in my own skin. Cutting off those idiots was the best thing I did. It took me more than a year to get here and I am still not healed but it's definitely getting better.
I am definitely posting cope when I say things were better at home. +

I miss Jamshedpur. I miss the river behind my house. I miss my room. I miss my bookshelf. I miss my brother. I do not miss any of my other family. Its hard work to figure out life like this but honestly it's a lot less hard than tolerating my parents or extended family. I mean it

Pandemic has been terrible because an empty house does hurt but tbvh it would be infinitely worse at home. Constant screaming and nagging and scrutinizing and other needless bs. More than the violence the daily kitkit ate up my braincells.
Not fucking worth it.

What made it all worse was that these weren't even decent people. Sanghi genocidal maniacs are impossible to live with. These worms legit look for reasons to be bitter the entire day. It's a diseased group of people which is impossible to please.
Good riddance.