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For ADHDers, boredom hurts.
No, boredom is a bad word to use.. Its a chronic lack of stimulation.
Its hurts. Its why we're desperate to want to do things.
Calling it 'boredom' makes others think our 'boredom' is similar to theirs.. But as I said, its worse cause it hurts.
No, boredom is a bad word to use.. Its a chronic lack of stimulation.
Its hurts. Its why we're desperate to want to do things.
Calling it 'boredom' makes others think our 'boredom' is similar to theirs.. But as I said, its worse cause it hurts.
I can't easily describe the pain.
Its a nothingness. Its not a pain pain. Its like a black hole in my mind, tearing me apart.
Its why I near dissociated and used avoidance so much when younger.
Its why I needed to distract my brain at EVERY SINGLE SECOND.
To not feel it.
Its a nothingness. Its not a pain pain. Its like a black hole in my mind, tearing me apart.
Its why I near dissociated and used avoidance so much when younger.
Its why I needed to distract my brain at EVERY SINGLE SECOND.
To not feel it.
How bad is the pain?
I've craved physical and emotional pain rather than feel it.
I used to punch walls till my fists bled to avoid it.
To those who can understand, its like a kick to the testicles.
A deep, lingering pain that makes you feel nauseous. But in my mind.
I've craved physical and emotional pain rather than feel it.
I used to punch walls till my fists bled to avoid it.
To those who can understand, its like a kick to the testicles.
A deep, lingering pain that makes you feel nauseous. But in my mind.
When a close friend of mine was getting chemo, I felt a tad envious.
Cause in my head, prolonged physical and emtional suffering was better it.
(Yea, it was an incredibly shitty thing to feel but I was very young and I want to highlight just how much unstimualtion hurts)
Cause in my head, prolonged physical and emtional suffering was better it.
(Yea, it was an incredibly shitty thing to feel but I was very young and I want to highlight just how much unstimualtion hurts)
Its nothingness.
Truly nothing.
Its why feeling anything can seem better.
Cause feeling anything, even pain, feels better than feeling the nothing.
Its saps at your will to live.
And it not like the numbness of depression. Its a void. A lack of anything. Pure hell.
Truly nothing.
Its why feeling anything can seem better.
Cause feeling anything, even pain, feels better than feeling the nothing.
Its saps at your will to live.
And it not like the numbness of depression. Its a void. A lack of anything. Pure hell.
Again, its not a pain pain.
It's like an absence of everything and anything.
Imagine you fell off a high place and were bracing yourself for the pain of impact.
But instead, you kept falling for all eternity, into an unfeeling void. That's the pain.
It's like an absence of everything and anything.
Imagine you fell off a high place and were bracing yourself for the pain of impact.
But instead, you kept falling for all eternity, into an unfeeling void. That's the pain.
I suffered from passive suicidal ideation as a teen. This is why.
I wanted to sleep all the time cause sleep was an escape from that unending hell.
I wanted to escape to my books where it didnt hurt.
God, even thinking of it makes me feel nauseous. Its the truest hell.
I wanted to sleep all the time cause sleep was an escape from that unending hell.
I wanted to escape to my books where it didnt hurt.
God, even thinking of it makes me feel nauseous. Its the truest hell.
Ironically though, going to sleep was/ is hard because of it.
Alone with my thoughts and the nothingness.
Its why I could only fall asleep at early mornings out of exhaustion.
Alone with my thoughts and the nothingness.
Its why I could only fall asleep at early mornings out of exhaustion.
