Quick #AntAndApple time.

So Apple is a rescue. When I rescued her in Jan 2019 she didn’t a microchip, she had scars, she didn’t know any commands, she was timid around me + other humans, and it was clear she had had a lot of trauma.

I’m pretty sure that she was used for breeding, kept outside, and forced to keep quiet (she’s only barked maybe 10 times since I adopted her). She was bloody and collarless when the shelter found her.

Of note, her breasts were low when I got her. At first I thought she had just had a litter, and I think that’s true. But even after almost 2 years w/me, her breasts still hang. This is usually a sign that the dog had pups very very young. I think that happened to Apple.

She perks up when she sees young kids (human or otherwise). But I’ve heard her cry in her sleep and I think it’s related (she’s great with kids)

She also horrible nightmares sometimes that shake her whole body and raise her heckles. They’ve reduced over time but still happen.

I adopted a dog because:
1. I love animals
2. I was living alone in Los Angeles (a city I don’t like)
3. Depression!! While a dog can’t cure it, petting them does reduce anxiety and constant companionship helps. Also forces me to get outside every day.

I adopted Apple because she was an older pit (8 years old at the time). This was ideal because I work a lot + older dogs sleep more.

Older dogs + pits get adopted less and many shelters euthanize them. And many states have laws specifically against pit bulls.

So when I saw Apple on IG in Sept, I msged the shelter to see if she was available bc she was just so cute and goofy.

I waited until Jan to visit+adopt bc that’s when I could accommodate her. I had gotten a pet-friendly apartment in Aug 2018 with this goal in mind.

Anyway, she’s my emotional support animal now and she’s my everything. We been through a lot.

We’re still working on her aggression w/other dogs, but we’re battling her previous trauma + multiple incidents with unfriendly unleashed dogs + one time I let her offleash.

A few things Apple has taught me:
- to be more present
- that if I don’t eat, she won’t
- my own childhood trauma w/my fam sometimes comes up as I parent her (she’s not a human child but she is my fur baby)
- being a responsible pet parent w/depression is difficult

I’m very particular about who pet-sits her and I’ve never been away from her for more than 10 days. She drove with me to AZ to visit my childhood best friend and she drove with me from Los Angeles to Oakland. She’s truly my ride or die

I forgot to mention, she often carries a sock or a toy. Anything she can find on the ground works though.

I thought it was a comfort or anxiety thing. And that might be what it is now. But it might actually be that a person put something in her mouth to keep her from barking

she be working my nerves too, don’t get me wrong but she’s my princesa

Btwn socialization issues, working a lot, and pandemic, she doesn’t get as much attention or as many walks or play sessions as I wanna give her. So I definitely spoil her, but she deserves it and has been a good living+breathing reminder of how much care and joy I deserve too.

(About a year after adopting her I finally let her sleep on my bed and that’s where she sleeps every night now, but I still don’t let her lick my mouth )