it has been days, but i can’t stop thinking about these scenes—

here is Vlad, the first night they kissed, opening himself up, baring his soul, showing his vulnerability. it’s like he can bare himself, raw and fragile letting Karl take the pieces the latter deems valid.

he offers his head up and in this he says, “You have the power to hurt me now,” while trusting that he doesn’t. Not again.

and that smile of contentment, of pure bliss. it’s like coming home after an exhausting day (which was kind of what happened).

this is Vlad entrusting his heart over to Karl that night. completely. all for his disposal and Karl accepts it as he ruffles his hair, a giddy smile on his lips, not thinking about the consequences this will bring—fully consumed by what it brings him as well.

and then, we have that scene from *that* night. and it’s almost too painful to look at.

the smile Karl had before he brought his hand up to ruffle his hair again the same way he did that january night when Vlad came home to him.

and the hurt that came after—

when he realised things were not the same. this is not the same Vlad from that night and likewise, he isn’t the same Karl. it’s only been weeks (?), but they have changed from the people who spent their time together in this same old unit.

that Vlad is reserving himself. that now this inhibition this reluctancy exists even worse from before they kissed

and it’s the familiarity for Karl, isnt it? the way Vlad was ruffling his hair moments before this the way their conversation was flowing the way Vlad smiled at him

and the fact that he was missing him just hours before he knocked on his door again.

these scenes just really hurt :( to know that Vlad has now associated Karl, along with his Dad, to the pain of having his hair ruffled.

hay ‘di ko pa din kayang ulitin ep8 ng buo. unti-unti habang nililinay linay ko feelings ko lol