I have had a very stressful weekend so I bought every chocolate mint product at Trader Joe's and my ass is going to watch a Christmas movie tonight

GO GO GADGET HOLIDAY ANXIETY COPING MECHANISMS

The words “Executive Producer Dolly Parton” “based on the stage play by Dolly Parton” have already soothed my soul

the gay energy of the first 4 minutes of CHRISTMAS ON THE SQUARE is absolutely unparalleled

1. Plaintive Dolly ballad

2. High-kicking flamboyant all male dance ensemble prances in and bursts into jazzy song

3. Christine Baranski rolls up to be an ice cold villainess bitch

Just to clarify that I wasn’t exaggerating

this is somehow the best but also worst but also best thing I’ve ever seen in my life

somehow the fact that this fictional small town has BOTH a character named “Pastor Christian” AND a chorus of dancing gays feels like peak Dolly Parton

We stan Pastor Christian because he is deeply smitten with his plus size wife and they are having a very honest convo about the complexities of fertility treatments!

Jenifer Lewis as the salon owner slash get-a-grip friend has STOLEN this movie

if you were wondering whether this movie has Dolly Parton perched on a cloud in Christine Baranski’s living room and singing the moral of the story at her, it absolutely does

I would absolutely go to a church scripted by Dolly Parton

everyone is holding hands and singing about being kind to each other and the pews are FULL of gays and people of color (and gay people of color!) and Pastor Christian loves them all

A PRECOCIOUS CHILD IS SINGING WITH CHRISTINE BARANSKI

I’m in crafts mode now and tweeting less but trust and believe it has only grown more bonkers