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Hey, as someone who has spent a lot of holidays alone, I have some thoughts.
Yes, we all intellectually know it’s COVID’s fault but at some point dark thoughts will likely enter your head.
“You’re a loser.”
“You’re alone.”
“You’re unwanted.”
Your brain is a bully.
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Yes, we all intellectually know it’s COVID’s fault but at some point dark thoughts will likely enter your head.
“You’re a loser.”
“You’re alone.”
“You’re unwanted.”
Your brain is a bully.
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The first year I did it, I was a mess. I just decided to “skip” Christmas.
That did not work.
I’ve learned to acknowledge it’s a special day and that I’m alone on a day that we’ve been indoctrinated to think we must spend with loved ones.
So TREAT YOURSELF.
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That did not work.
I’ve learned to acknowledge it’s a special day and that I’m alone on a day that we’ve been indoctrinated to think we must spend with loved ones.
So TREAT YOURSELF.
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My preference is salty food, delicious alcohol and a bubble bath. You know what lifts your soul.
If you can, spend a little extra money. Get a few small things that make you feel good.
Special chocolate. Special foot cream. Whatever floats your boat.
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If you can, spend a little extra money. Get a few small things that make you feel good.
Special chocolate. Special foot cream. Whatever floats your boat.
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Call someone. Preferably someone you actually love and care about rather than someone you feel obligated to contact.
It literally rips my heart out when my kid isn’t with me on a holiday.
I sob.
That’s OK. Feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re a sad person.
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It literally rips my heart out when my kid isn’t with me on a holiday.
I sob.
That’s OK. Feeling sad doesn’t mean you’re a sad person.
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Emotional tears contain higher levels of stress hormones than other types of tears.
Crying is literally your body’s way of shedding stress. Let it out. Yes, even if you’ve been trained that because of your gender you shouldn’t cry.
I’m a total cry baby. Ask my friends.
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Crying is literally your body’s way of shedding stress. Let it out. Yes, even if you’ve been trained that because of your gender you shouldn’t cry.
I’m a total cry baby. Ask my friends.
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Get outside. Take a walk. Bundle up if it’s cold; wear some sunscreen if it’s warm.
Fresh air and sunshine, along with someone steady state exercise, will do a lot to get some endorphins flowing.
When I was downtown I would feel embarrassed. Like I had nowhere else to be.
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Fresh air and sunshine, along with someone steady state exercise, will do a lot to get some endorphins flowing.
When I was downtown I would feel embarrassed. Like I had nowhere else to be.
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I kept thinking how obviously everyone with their smiles and families was judging me.
They weren’t. They were absorbed in their own story (and often drama).
Meander. Discover new parks. Find houses for sale. Watch dogs run and kids laugh.
Happiness is contagious.
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They weren’t. They were absorbed in their own story (and often drama).
Meander. Discover new parks. Find houses for sale. Watch dogs run and kids laugh.
Happiness is contagious.
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But don’t try so hard to be happy that you judge your sadness. When negative self-talk starts up, I want you to say out loud, “Thanks for your opinion. But I love and accept myself just the way I am.”
Even if you don’t. You can acknowledge your thoughts without spiraling.
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Even if you don’t. You can acknowledge your thoughts without spiraling.
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Watch shitty movies. This is not the time to tackle the Oscar-nominated, respectable movies of our time.
It’s a Nicholas Cage day.
Go for mindless. If you are constipated with sadness, you can watch the first five minutes of Up and then abandon it for something stupid.
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It’s a Nicholas Cage day.
Go for mindless. If you are constipated with sadness, you can watch the first five minutes of Up and then abandon it for something stupid.
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Get cozy.
I was in crisis at a point earlier this year and a friend gave me clear instructions:
• Put on thick, warm socks.
• Make a pot of tea.
• Get under covers.
• Snuggle something. (A dog, a cat, a stuffie, a pillow, anything.)
Weighted blankets are good too.
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I was in crisis at a point earlier this year and a friend gave me clear instructions:
• Put on thick, warm socks.
• Make a pot of tea.
• Get under covers.
• Snuggle something. (A dog, a cat, a stuffie, a pillow, anything.)
Weighted blankets are good too.
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Being warm tells your brain that you’re safe.
It gets you out of the fight or flight of stress and helps you regulate.
I have a funny story about Walter getting on the bed momentarily to snuggle and then jumping off as if it was a trap.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">
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It gets you out of the fight or flight of stress and helps you regulate.
I have a funny story about Walter getting on the bed momentarily to snuggle and then jumping off as if it was a trap.
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Know that you are loved. Even when it doesn’t feel like it. Even when you feel so alone you want to die. Even when the sadness is soul crushing.
You are loved. I love you.
One of the greatest lessons of my life is recognizing the people who show the fuck up.
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You are loved. I love you.
One of the greatest lessons of my life is recognizing the people who show the fuck up.
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And it’s often not the people I thought it would be.
I’ve been hurt and betrayed by enough people to realize that it’s only when you need someone. When you’re low. When you’re embarrassed, and empty that you discover who really gives a shit.
Accept that love.
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I’ve been hurt and betrayed by enough people to realize that it’s only when you need someone. When you’re low. When you’re embarrassed, and empty that you discover who really gives a shit.
Accept that love.
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I’m a work in progress on this one. I have an insecure attachment. I feel the need to EARN love. It’s extremely hard for me to just BE LOVED.
But when I can push through and accept it. Holy shit.
Best (albeit fleeting) feeling ever.
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But when I can push through and accept it. Holy shit.
Best (albeit fleeting) feeling ever.
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Life is weird. Life is hard. Life is way more heavy and struggle-filled than I ever imagined.
But every once in awhile something amazing happens.
And while we wait for the next miraculous moment, we have to make space for ourselves to be exactly as we are.
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But every once in awhile something amazing happens.
And while we wait for the next miraculous moment, we have to make space for ourselves to be exactly as we are.
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I guess what I’m saying is everything around you is kinda fucked up right now.
But you’re not fucked up.
You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful.
Take the day to appreciate how fabulous you are.
And you are, truly, fabulous.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">
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But you’re not fucked up.
You’re fearfully and wonderfully made. You are beautiful.
Take the day to appreciate how fabulous you are.
And you are, truly, fabulous.
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