Rambling sluggy thread:

I& #39;m feeling a little bit like a heel. I sent my sister a grumpy text telling her to stop badgering my mom about me, turns out it was my mom badgering her about reconciling with me.
I don& #39;t know what to do. I mean it& #39;s been years since I saw something and thought, & #39;I wish I could show Grace this.& #39; Doesn& #39;t that usually indicate just how low a priority someone has become?

And I still have trust issues regarding her. I really don& #39;t want to be hurt again.
But at the same time, how do you learn to trust someone after nearly 30 years of her telling people you& #39;re evil, mentally unstable, ect era.

I& #39;m by no means a perfect slug. This is why I warn against being put in charge of the nuclear football. I& #39;m sure I did just as many
hurtful things to her if she spent so much time telling me to go away. But now that I& #39;m gone, she wants me back?

Why? It& #39;s not like we were ever close. And I seriously doubt we ever will be, given how different we are.

So why does she want what she spent pushing away?
Did she watch a Hallmark Christmas special and think & #39;oh, I wish I had that kind of wacky relationship with my sister?& #39; Did she see how her sister-in-laws interacted and suffer remorse? Does she just miss having someone to blame for all her problems?

I& #39;m just cynical enough to
believe the last one, but she was always easily swayed by what others were doing so the first two are equally possible.

And of course it& #39;s been so long since I& #39;ve even talked to her that I have no idea (nor honestly care) to know what she& #39;s thinking.
And what kind of person says she wants to & #39;share her family& #39; with me when her husband swears I& #39;m some kind of monster and has forbidden to accept gifts I send to my nephew?

(I care significantly less what the husband thinks of me after he shouted at me from the safety of a
porch like an overgrown chuhauhau to never come back again. Any respect I had for him has long since vanished.)

*sigh* I don& #39;t get it. I finally accept that she hates my guts and now she tells mom she misses me. Like what, a toenail infection?

It makes no sense, unless she& #39;s
back to playing mind games. And I& #39;ve had enough of those to last me a lifetime.

/end thread
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