I want my heart to not hurt when I see a movie with a mother talking to her daughter and embracing eachother. I want it to not sting so much when I hear ‘I love you, mom’.

I’m largely happy in life, but not having that is a void that I cannot stop from hurting me immensely.

I don’t know why I wasn’t ever enough for her, but I wasn’t. It’s so unfortunate, because she’ll never know Alyssa.
I’ve grown into a person that I’m proud to be, and I have never said those words & meant it before transitioning.
She’ll never know that, and it’s devastating.

I wouldn’t change a thing about transitioning. That’s the truth. It’s a decision that not only saved my life, but GAVE me one.
Anybody that wouldn’t think a person that fought for THAT was worth keeping? That’s someone that can’t stay.
That’s why I don’t have a mom.

But you likely know just as well as I do now that, being born with a title doesn’t dictate the qualifications OF that title, and the person who I was told was my mom, never met those qualifications.
And though it hurts like hell, I’ve come to learn that it’s ok.

I have learned that your chosen family can be more comforting and wholesome than the lack of the former never doing so.

My friends are a wrecking ball for me, and they love just as fiercely.

So while I have my low moments, the high ones FAR outweigh them nowadays.

I’m truly sorry if this thread triggered anyone. I know parent issues can be. I was just really kinda reflecting tonight, and though I know the beginning was gloomy, I promise the point was in the ending.

NONE of us are alone. We have eachother.