I& #39;m watching Titanic for the first time ever tonight. (No, I don& #39;t know, either.) Pre-existing knowledge:

- Kate, Leo, boat, iceberg
- there either was or was not room on the door
- every single word to "My Heart Will Go On"
newly acquired knowledge: where "it& #39;s been 84 years" is from
piping hot take: wow, Rose& #39;s fiancé sucks
Girl, if you jump now, your heart will NOT go on
Rose: "I KNOW WHAT ICE FISHING IS"
Jack: yes, but do you know ENOUGH

Aw, he talked her down :D
oh no
Rose, are you going to say something, or like
oh thank god
they shook hands for five minutes = they want to bang
drawn. nude. girls.

Rose: omg
Jack: ;D
Aw, American nouveau riche lady is a good egg.
I love all Jack and Rose& #39;s interactions but I& #39;m also really distracted because Kate Winslet looks 20 and Leo looks 14
"Are you of the Boston Dawsons?"
"No. The Chippewa Falls Dawsons."
L O L
(cw abuse) "sorry mom, before I danced with someone other than my violent dickwad fiancé, I should& #39;ve remembered that you don& #39;t want to sell the good china"
CAPTAIN: "The ice is normal for this time of year. In fact, we& #39;re speeding up! I& #39;ve just ordered the last boilers lit."
EVERYONE ELSE: we see no possible way this can go wrong
ROSE: ....
ugh Jack and Rose are so cute, I can& #39;t
the scene where Rose watches the little girl try to sit up straight while her mom talks about the wedding is so understated* and good

*compared to the rest of this movie
OMG YOU GUYS it& #39;s happening :D :D :D
The most unrealistic part of this movie is Jack being able to Do Art when a naked Kate Winslet is right there.
Cal& #39;s valet was basically born to be a high school vice principal. (Rose says he used to be a cop, which also tracks.)
sdfsafhpghghgh CUTIES
LMAO ROSE LEFT JACK& #39;S DRAWING OF HER IN HER ASSHOLE FIANCÉ& #39;S SAFE WITH A NOTE

"NOW YOU CAN KEEP US BOTH LOCKED IN YOUR SAFE"

GO TO HELL, CAL
ALARM BELLS: *ring*
STEERING WHEELS: *turn*
PROPELLERS: *propel*
THE HANDHELD CAMERAS: *are out*
I don& #39;t know how to tell you guys this

but

the Titanic just hit the iceberg
Victor Garber is walking around in an increasingly radicalized daze
"I don& #39;t want to be responsible for a panic" hmm where have we heard that before
THE CAPTAIN:
ROSE& #39;S MOM: "Will the lifeboats be seated according to class?"
ROSE: "SHUT UP, half the people on this ship are going to DIE"
CAL: "not the better half"
So, Titanic has been a pervasive part of the American cultural consciousness for over 20 years, right? How have we not eaten the rich?
This is now a horror movie.
There& #39;s a shot from far away of the Titanic on the open sea. The huge, unsinkable ship is a speck of white in the black. A distress signal goes up. They& #39;re so loud and bright on the ship, but out here they& #39;re just... nothing. A flash, and then they& #39;re gone.
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