I want to talk about “isolation desperation.”

For those of us who are sheltered solo, sometimes it’s really hard to live our lives completely virtually. /1

After enduring so much alone time, even the most introverted person can start feeling like they’re crawling out of their skin.

For contact. With another human being. In person. /2

We may be able to go days & days buoyed by conversations with friends, family, and colleagues by phone, Zoom, FaceTime, and all the other ways we can see and hear each other.

But it doesn’t beat in person contact. /3

And so at some point, the yearning to be in the same room, and more ideally, in physical touch, becomes overwhelming.

We feel desperation. We want contact NOW!

But we’re stuck in isolation. /4

If we’re fortunate enough to be established in a community, maybe we can — for example — relatively safely go for a socially-distanced walk with another person.

/5

But if we’re a newbie in town, or no one’s available to hang out, or the weather makes it tough to meet up outdoors, we can become frenzied, frantic, scattered, anxious.

/6

And when we’re sheltered solo and the isolation desperation arises, who do we turn to when we’re in desperate need of solace and support?

/7

Once upon a time, if we felt lonely, we could go out and meet a friend and have a coffee, grab a meal, get a hug.

Right now? That’s risky in the pandemic.

/8

In a society that glorifies couplehood and families, being solo is tough enough.

With the added layer that it’s potentially unsafe to meet up with people right now, I believe this isolation desperation is a real phenomenon. /9

I don’t have any easy answers to make the yearning for contact easier. But I do have some suggestions that may help, based on my own personal experience: /10

(a) Journal, dance, make art, or otherwise express the frustrations of being sheltered solo.
(b) Try @Bumble Friends for meeting new people. I am super happy to have two new local friends from that app. /11

(c) Set up a Day of the Week Club. Each day of the week, Set up a recurring visit – virtual or in-person – with a friend or family member. I am thankful, for example, for my Mondays with @CollectiveCons7 and Fridays with @LuannEdwards401

It may be that there are other flavors of “isolation desperation.” I’d love to hear from anyone who’s facing it, about how you were doing, what your experiences, and but you’re needing. /16

If you are facing “isolation desperation,“ please know you’re not alone.
Please know this is a really difficult time.

Please know I am sending you love and care. /17

PS - I’m aware that you can feel isolation even when you’re sheltered with others. And being a solo parent sheltered with kids, I don’t even know how crazy tough that must be. So my heart goes out to you all, too. /18