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the issue of mlm fetishisation in mainstream media, a thread by a mlm
content and trigger warnings for fetishisation , talks of smut , closeting , homophobia , harmful stereotypes
when you accuse someone of fetishisation the first thing they say is ‘i dont have a fetish for them’ or ‘i dont think of them sexually’ but this completely misinterprets the word
here is the definition of fetishise - to be excessively or irrationally devoted to an object, activity etc. so not always to do with sex, see? yes a fetish is a sexual thing but fetishisation has a completely separate meaning
so lets talk about how normalised mlm fetishisation in shipping and the media and music industry. before i get into this id like to say that yes, i acknowledge there are shippers and fetishisers in every fandom including kpop and i know even my own fandoms are not without fault!
when two celebrities interact, rumours begin. it happens with mlw, mlm and wlw pairings and this is not the issue, but theres a difference between ‘they would be cute together’ and ‘everything they do from this moment can be related how they are in a secret relationship’
for one, the idea that men cannot be affectionate and touchy towards each other without being secretly in love enforces the idea that men should be cold and not show their emotions. by analysing their every move you make them hesitant to be affectionate
imagine you have an incredibly close bond with one of your friends and suddenly everyone is freaking out every time you brush shoulders or even make eye contact. of course that would make things awkward and damage your friendship, regardless of gender
this cannot be compared to an openly gay couple being passed off as ‘just friends’, because this is only applied when the relationship is confirmed. when no one has confirmed the relationship, you CANNOT just assume that they’re dating
if a mlm couple are dating then it is their personal business and their choice on if they want to be open or not. shippers preach about ‘closeting in the industry’ and yet actively try and out their stans by sharing proofs and insisting theyre in a relationship
if a couple is potentially closeted, then why the fuck are you talking about them?? do you realise you could be putting people in danger? so many heterosexual shippers talk about closeting as if its any of your business
the insensitivity towards topics such as homophobia and closeting by shippers and the misogyny towards any female whos linked to either member of the pairing is so so painfully clear and the fact that most shippers are het teenage girls makes it 10 times more upsetting
about fan fiction: i do not have a problem with it as a form of art and a way of expressing yourself and as long as its posted to its dedicated platforms i think to some extent it is okay, but non mlm writing, reading and getting off to mlm smut is just fucked up.
why are you interested in what mlm do in bed? and the trauma porn in fan fiction too, making their entire storyline about homophobia - why are you speaking on mlm struggles as a non mlm? we deserve happy storylines too
while this issue spreads to fictional characters, i believe this is somewhat less harmful as it doesnt involve real people, and it is evident that shipping real people can damage their friendship. you can see it with how distant * and * became over the years...
heres a separate mini-thread on feminising mlm which i encourage you to read. i made it separate to fit more into this one and because i find it important enough to be its own separate thread https://twitter.com/ctbygyu/status/1330639304209666049
‘why do you care so much’ ‘just block/mute’ ‘stay in your lane’ its every fucking day. i see you no matter what i mute or who i block. as a mlm i have to watch thousands of you do this every day and speak over me when i try and explain what youre doing is wrong
i may add more to this thread later. attack me all you want but im sick of putting up with your bullshit
oh and btw if you have any questions but arent comfy dming then feel free to use my cc!! please note i am incredibly desensitised so sending any kind of thr34t wont work on me before you even try :) https://curiouscat.qa/emoyoongles
