Someone you love:

•Had an abortion
•Struggles with sobriety
•Is sick of talking about their weight
•Doesn’t bring their partner around because homophobia
•Never told you about the abuse from that cousin

And it took a pandemic for them to get some relief this Thanksgiving.

Let’s keep going:
Someone you love is relieved that the pandemic means they won’t be fat-shamed, told their disability is all in their head, deadnamed, reminded of a painful thing from childhood that makes everybody laugh, forced to eat a thing they know will trigger a reaction—

Someone you know could weep with joy that they won’t have to see the uncle that they were forced to hug when they were little. Their allergies won’t be exacerbated by pets or foods. They won’t be asked about their ex. Nobody will read FB out loud to them, since they quit FB.

Maybe, without a house full of grandkids and the usual casserole sides, Nanas, Aunties and Peepops will realize, finally, this has always been the most painful and lonely time of the year for some of us.

If you can’t give thanks like you always have, maybe try giving grace.