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Focus isn’t about saying “YES” really well, it’s about saying “NO” to everything else.
Here’s how to say NO more effectively:
(Thread)
Here’s how to say NO more effectively:
(Thread)
Why do we need to say NO?
1. We can’t do everything
2. Focus is about not doing everything
3. Saying YES to things we can’t / don’t want to do is cruel and misleading.
4. Saying NO makes it valuable when we say YES
1. We can’t do everything
2. Focus is about not doing everything
3. Saying YES to things we can’t / don’t want to do is cruel and misleading.
4. Saying NO makes it valuable when we say YES
Remember a time you asked for something and were told no and respected it?
1. They had a reason.
2. They were respectful and kind.
3. They were honest and direct.
4. They provided an alternative
Let’s look at some examples.
1. They had a reason.
2. They were respectful and kind.
3. They were honest and direct.
4. They provided an alternative
Let’s look at some examples.
Kind, honest, direct. They didn’t even give a reason here, but I still appreciated it.
Kind: “congratulations on your graduation!”
Clear: “I’m going to have to decline”
Alternative: “I’d be happy to give it a listen when completed”
This was good for me to hear.
Kind: “congratulations on your graduation!”
Clear: “I’m going to have to decline”
Alternative: “I’d be happy to give it a listen when completed”
This was good for me to hear.
This is an example from @tferriss book Tribe of Mentors when reaching out to Wendy MacNaughton
Clear: “I really want to... I gotta pass.”
Reason: “I maxed out pretty hard... and gotta take a break”
Alternative: “I hope the space is filled by someone I suggested”
Clear: “I really want to... I gotta pass.”
Reason: “I maxed out pretty hard... and gotta take a break”
Alternative: “I hope the space is filled by someone I suggested”
Another from Tribe of Mentors, this from Danny Meyer.
Clear: “it’s a wonderful opportunity, but am going to decline”
Kind and provides the Reason: “I’m grateful for the invitation but struggling to make time ends meet”
Clear: “it’s a wonderful opportunity, but am going to decline”
Kind and provides the Reason: “I’m grateful for the invitation but struggling to make time ends meet”
Tribe of Mentors from Neal Stephenson.
Kind: “thanks for thinking of me”
Reason: “I started an experiment of not adding anything to my ToDo list”
Clear: “unfortunately, the ruthlessly efficient part of this plan means I am turning this down as a policy”
Kind: “thanks for thinking of me”
Reason: “I started an experiment of not adding anything to my ToDo list”
Clear: “unfortunately, the ruthlessly efficient part of this plan means I am turning this down as a policy”
One other hack is to not make decisions in the moment.
My rule is to say “Let me think about this and talk it over with my partner and get back to you”
This way I don’t commit to anything in the moment when adrenaline may kick in.
My rule is to say “Let me think about this and talk it over with my partner and get back to you”
This way I don’t commit to anything in the moment when adrenaline may kick in.
So next time you’re asked to do something you shouldn’t, think of these responses.
Don’t respond in the moment and if you say no,
Be clear
Be direct
Be honest
Be kind
Provide alternatives when possible.
Don’t respond in the moment and if you say no,
Be clear
Be direct
Be honest
Be kind
Provide alternatives when possible.
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And subscribe to my email list where I talk about this more: http://tinyurl.com/JoelSigrist/ https://twitter.com/joelsigristff/status/1330608036143005697
And subscribe to my email list where I talk about this more: http://tinyurl.com/JoelSigrist/ https://twitter.com/joelsigristff/status/1330608036143005697
