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hand in hand with my support for the lwj fucks agenda is the demi + late bloomer wwx agenda, which I identify strongly with—give me a wwx in his twenties who’s social, happy, enjoys casual flirting tremendously but has never dated seriously or felt attracted to a specific person
and he loves people! thinks they’re pretty and handsome and hot all the time, but in a distant, appreciative way, unable to rly picture what kissing them would be like. so he goes through a phase in his late teens, after he moves out and twenty is looming close
where he thinks: ok maybe I’ve just been too shy, too overwhelmed, maybe I should push myself and it’ll be good once I try it out. it isn’t—not unbearable, but he makes out w ppl in clubs and his friends cheer him on and it’s fun, but the entire time
he’s more aware of the yelling in his ears and the thrum of music beneath his feet than the actual mouth on his, which he vaguely registers as colder than he expected, and afterwards he feels very neutral and disinterested abt the whole thing.
he goes on some dates, meets some nice ppl, makes friends w wen qing, which is a bonus after a rather awkward date. he likes it, but still feels weird and stressed out when the evening gets into that phase of coy hand holding and possible kisses. he doesn’t go on second dates.
he feels a little frustrated for a while, bcs it’s not as if he’s totally disinterested in romance or sex? he does like to think of a relationship, but it feels like a surreal idea, not for him. he keeps trying, and sometimes ppl seem to rly like him, and he has to let them down
so he eventually settles down w the surprisingly relieving feeling that he can just exist, not in love, until he /does/ potentially fall in love, which he’ll tackle when it happens. that there is no way, or need, to rush. it’s difficult as his friends move in w partners,
but he doesn’t allow it to stress him out any longer. love hits when you least expects it, right? he spends time on other things, and grows.
when lan zhan kisses him for the first time, and it feels fucking good, he remembers very clearly thinking, yeah, so this is different.
when lan zhan kisses him for the first time, and it feels fucking good, he remembers very clearly thinking, yeah, so this is different.
(he eventually discovers that he is, in fact, as kinky as he’s taunted people with for years)
(oh and, when he tells the tale of how he lost his virginity for party games, he tells the sweet but awkward story of his first time w lwj, bcs virginity is a social construct, and for him that marks the first Important Event of his sex life)
