Trust should be ranked over love in a relationship. Love sustains a relationship. But love as a virtue does not necessarily embody. To have an effective, enjoyable, long-term relationship, trust is supreme.

I’ll explain:

Trust has more ramifications than love does. You cannot maintain a long term relationship, without emotional security. Feelings can survive rollercoasters, love cannot. Love thrives with security; trust provides the securities.

And trust has many components.

1. You will have to trust virtue; does he/she have good intentions?

2. You will have to trust honesty; does he/she hide important details?

3. You will have to trust competence; is he/she capable?

4. You will have to trust intellect; does he/she understand actions and effects?

5. You will have to trust self-discipline; will he/she do it?

6. You will have to trust integrity; what is he/her price? What is the strength of the value system?

7. You will have to trust principle; can you rely on a defendable pattern of behaviour?

The problem is that love comes from the way we feel, trust is supplied from who they are.

Trust is character. And your love feeds on the trust they give. Love may consistently fuel the desire to keep it going, but it cannot cover for the guarantees only trust can supply.

The tricky thing is that love is a beautifier. It conceals and justifies the lack or absence of a component of trust, but it’s always a matter of time. The longer the relationship, the stronger the demand for emotional security. And there’s no security without trust.

You are likely to love a person whose trust on all material aspects, comes easy. You’ll also naturally fall out with a person whose character consistently puts you in a position to question every single component of trust for who they really are. Time will give you clarity.

Sometimes, the wrong people earn our love. We do not earn their trust. There are no guarantees with them. The only thing you’re sure of is that you love them. With them, just anything can be true of the past and present.

For anything long term, character supercedes emotions.