Read on Twitter
Someone is ragging on Topanga? No way, Jose. I only ever dated one blonde girl, and it was in no small part because she looked like Topanga. She was also the meanest girl I ever met, so uh, donât base your dating decisions on tv sitcom crushes.
This girl found out I liked Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so she would watch each episode as they aired and come to school dressed like Buffy the next day until I asked her out. She hated Buffy.
She was in tons of extracurricular activities, was super smart, and part of a regional program for academically-gifted young women. During one of these big-brain slumber parties, she was so mean to everyone that the girls made her sleep outside. In March.
Her family was wild. Her dad was a military dude who walked with a cane because one time on a training exercise his parachute didnât open *and he crashed through a house*. He barely talked and was terrifying. Her aunt woke up from a hypnosis session believing she was in a cult.
Her grandfather burned his whole house down on purpose, wouldnât say why, and they all believed that it was because he had performed some kind of ritual in the attic and couldnât get rid of whatever he had opened. He was one of the scarier old men I ever met.
She skipped my prom, but by the time hers rolled around we had just broken up and I felt too guilty to bail, so I went with her. We drove THE BEAST - my rusted â86 panel van which my friends and I had turned into the ultimate ghost hunting machine. She was so so so embarrassed.
In that yearâs yearbook there is a photo from that prom, and if you look in the background, you can see me sitting at a table with my head in my hands. Itâs hilarious.
