'Twas the night before Christmas
The year: 2020
Giuliani had lost foolish lawsuits a-plenty

Michigan lawmakers tried to be bought
When sedition was offered as trump's evil plot

And even though Biden and Harris had won
Transition of power still hadn't begun 1/
But republicans galore, growing tired of the crap
Were just waking up from their treasonous nap:

Early was Romney, no big surprise
And then came George Bush
Who said "fuck all these guys" 2/
Followed by Jeb who went after Room Rater (weird)
And Fred Upton from Michigan, no longer a hater

Kinzinger even pushed back on the "fraud"
I guess not everyone's as bad a Chuck Todd

Tom Reed from New York and then Governor Scott
Even Will Hurd cried foul on the plot 3/
Chuck Baker. Spence Cox. Dan Young from Alaska.
Frank Rooney, Condi Rice, Don Bacon Nebraska.

And who to my wondering ears took a bow
Concerned Susan Collins had furrowed her brow!

Ben Sasse and John Curtis. Potatoe Dan Quayle.
DeWine stated flatly the trump campaign failed 4/
Sununu called trump's failed Q-clan a cult
Karl Rove said that recounts won't change the result

Then Jim Risch and Mike Rounds and Cornyn defect
Even Rubio called Biden "president-elect" 5/
More rapid than eagles, elite strike force failed
And soon they would all find themselves being jailed

First Ellis, then Sidney, then Toensing and Joe
(They were already under investigation, you know) 6/
And then the most treasonous asshole blowhard?
Well his is face melted off, and he was disbarred.

Eventually, GSA Emily caved.
The voters had spoken: democracy saved!

Then Ossoff and Warnock won their seats by plenty,
And Joe was sworn in on January 20. 7/
They went straight to work. So much damage to fix
And the Justice Department indicted the pricks

And I heard Joe exclaim "We will persevere. Happy New Year to all, because RIGHT. MATTERS. HERE."
Thanks to @AVindman for the last line. Thanks to Dan Quayle for "Potatoe". And thanks to the American people for doing the right thing. Also, I want Chuck Todd's job. The end.
You can follow @MuellerSheWrote.
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